My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

helen, love, for what it's worth, i think you've handled liam's issues brilliantly - i take my hat off to you. You don't need an instruction book - just follow your instincts and you won't go far wrong.

sue xx

Sue, thank you for that little story, it made me laugh too. How on earth did you manage to keep yourself together? Childrena re so funny at times aren't they. RIP Lucky x x

Helen, a little bit of role reversal there I see. How true though that we would freak out if our kids were meeting with what are effectively 'total strangers'. I hope you have a 'back up' plan for contacting your children to let them know you are safe. It must be hard for both you and your children coping with your new altered situation. I hope that your revised plan to have family time works for you all. I feel sure it will.

Judi, I hope that your day is going reasonably well x x

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening all , first of all big hugs to Judi , i hope you,ve coped with the day ok , i've been thinking about you all day , especialy when i spilt yogurt down my shirt this lunch time , i knew you'd think it was typically me lol xx Helen , i can imagine Liam after you told him you are going to meet scary people of the internet lol , my kids we're the same when i told them i was going to meet Gayle and because it was all done on the spur of the moment , i'm sure they thought i was going off to meet a man or something but i soon convinced them that it was nothing like that . It does seem like roll reversal , i hadn't realised it was mothering sunday but as we will be home at some point through the day i'll have my flowers later on the day

. Well it always happens to me doesn't it , i've been calling the memorial place for weeks now and when i called her last thurs she said she would get back to me in the next few days and give me a rough idea of when it was going up . Today i was late finishing work , then i had to go and pick prescriiptions up for dad , i was trying not to stress out that i wasn't going to get to the church yard , i just thought well 1 day wont hurt , i can help it , so i just got on with things and thought i'll go tommorow . When i got home at 5.30 there was a message on my answer machine to tell me that the head stone was going up today agghhhhh so here i am , the gates shut at 4 .30 , and i haven't seen the head stone . I was going to have the day off work to put new things in at the same time . I dont know if they've moved everything , there was a lot of things round the little cross , a lantern , i wont be able to get till tommorow after work now so i'm worried that everything is all left lying about . I.m seriously thinking about climing over the wall with a torch . AGHHHH so frustrating i so wanted it up and now poor comunication has spoilt it . And i also think if i had gone up how shocked i would have been to see it . rant over i need to talk to my boss i dont want to go to work knowing its there and i haven't seen it , am i wrong should i just calm down and wait ? crap crap crap xxxxxxxx

Lol Helen, I had a right go at my daughter a few years ago when she said she was going to meet a FB friend in Sheffield, she didn't go in the end. She has recently reminded me of this but I think it would have to be a very elaborate scam for so many of us  to make up FB pages and friends don't you?  Anyway I don't know about you but it feels nice to have people who worry about me, it means they care I think it is one of the things I miss most about Colin not being here, you know, being able to come and go and no-one knowing where I am or what I am doing at any given moment, I used to like him knowing where I was and knowing where he was too.

It is so hard to rebuild our shattered lives isn't it?

I hope Liam feels a little less worried now, he can always call me and check me out!!

Love and Hugs Lesley xx

dear lynne

Calm down.

can you ring your boss, explain, and go in to work a bit later tomorrow?

Just repeat your threat to climb over the wall - she'll just say for god's sake, lynne, come in late tomorrow!

Take care

Sue xx

Thought I should send along Daniel and his work mates to keep an eye on things in Newcastle, you should all be safe then, they don't stand no nonsense!

Hugs Lynne, do as Aunty Sue said, hope everything is as you want it. xxxxx

Oh no!  We've lost three of the heavies - must have been too big for the upload.

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j260/esme_weatherwax/2008/Thecrew.jpg

I always do as Sue says , boss is called Sue too .I've spoke to her , i start work at 7 so its no good going in later as the gates dont open till about 8 .30 , so i'm going to work and doing the first 2 runs and then she is taking me herself to the cemmy and my crew mate will work on her own for a hour or so . I've had to promise her too that i wont go climing over the wall tonight lol . I'm still gutted tho that i haven't seen it yet , but there was something keeping me away tonight and i do think the shock of seeing it up would have been to much , when i went yesterday they had moved all the xmas wreathes and that was bad enough . Love the pic Esme xx we wont need them tho we have napolean xxxx

Lynne, hope you sort something out xxx But do calm down, sure you will xxx

Sue thanks for your encouragement xx

Lesley thats exactly what I said about making up facebook accounts etc lol and yes it is nice to have people thinking about you through the day xx

Liam seems better now and him and Nat are going out as usual lol!! Things dont really change for long in their lives do they?

Rosemary I m sure we would be perfectly safe with them around, can we hire them lol xx

Helen xxx