My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Lynne, It made me really laugh too.. Just what I needed xx

Yeah and laughing is not good with a swollen face lol , will it ever go down ??

What a laugh I have had just because I decided to check in before bed.  Am I laughing more at Napoleon or his human?  Who knows.  I need to choose a name for my penguin but it is far too small to be called anything as grand as Napoleon.

Well I know I sound mad but I have bottomed my Christmas loft today!  I have put loads of cardboard from old lights out for re-cycling and I have hoovered the loft just like I said.  Tomorrow I am going to have a go at putting down the last couple of loft boards that Chris never finished.  Lets see how I get on.

I have to go back to work tomorrow as well Sue but I am not minding too much as I am only in Monday & Tuesday and then off Wednesday & Thursday, back in for Friday morning.  After that I only have half a days holiday to last me to Easter.

Hope everyone else is okay.  Ailsa xxx

Hi all, feeling a bit better this evening. I made it across the Pennines and back 180 miles in total. Had a lovely meal with Stuart and Kayo. they are so lovely together. A match made in heaven as they say.

Napolean please tell your human that she has made me laugh tonight.

I hope that Wednesday go well for you Ailsa.

Lynne, don't be getting drunk and sliding on your belly.

I hope that most of you have had a good weekend whatever you were doing.

Love and angel hugs to you all x x x Patricia x x x

hello

Ailsa you are impressive, I just don't have the energy to clean house right now.  Thanks and thanks Lesley for the suggestions, I will have lots of time to think about it all before July comes.  Back to work for me also tomorrow and for once, I am not dreading going back after holidays, rather looking forward to getting out of this house.  My cat is home and very glad to be here, he has been so affectionate and that is not normal for him, he is also missing his pal too I think.  It is so frigid here, the poor dog is getting shortchanged on his walks, I can't stay out so long in the wintery winds.  Hopefully this cold will ease up soon.  Lesley well done on getting the car all dug out.  Good for you. 

Patricia don't ever feel selfish, you are entitled, grief makes us all selfish and that is ok.  Whatever you feel is ok.  I have been down this weekend, usually there is a let down after the holidays and I think this year I am feeling it much more.  You just need to be kind to yourself.  I find being alone here starts me thinking about Dan and it is hard, it is hard to think of life without him.  So there are lots of tears but that is ok. 

Manda hope you got off to disney and had a fantastic time there with Hayley.  Judi, hope your open house was great and Helen hope you enjoyed your dinner.  Everyone else hope you had a good day.

Bren

Morning penguins - hope you've all enjoyed a snuggle with your humans??  Thanks for huddling round me when I needed it - I woke up this morning feeling better than I have for a while....so I hope that my arms are long enough to hold you all in the middle of a big huddle to keep you all safe and warm for as long as you need to be there................  We all have up and down times and wherever you are on that scale here's lots of love and ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) for you to comfort and support you 

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxx

My weepy day of yesterday seems to be a distant memory now.  I am so grateful for all your support. I am now ready to stand on the outside of the huddle so perhaps Dot and I can join hands to keep you all safe.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi All

Well Xmas has come and gone .Which to be honest is a relief.George has been off school fot two weeks and needed to get back.

i dont know how i feel,"maybe abit more positive now the new year is here".

Weve got a cermony for Nic on the 22nd of Jan,to put her ashes at the woodland place i have organised.Im sure it will be an emotional day,but at least we will all have somewhere to visit.

I hope eveyone is ok .

Thanks Dave xxx

Dear dave

i think that you need to be congratulated on providing a Christmas for your two little ones; heaven knows it's difficult enough at the best of times, and as we all know, these are certainly not the best of times!   well done, Dave; being mum and dad to children whilst still dealing with your own raw emotions  takes some doing.

I'm sure that once you manage to cope with the emotions of burying Nic's ashes you will feel relieved that you have somewhere to visit; i think i speak for most of us if i say that it helps to have a focus of some sort. I know that some of us go to burial plots, some to 'cremation' burial spots, some still have the ashes at home in a container. Whatever, we tend to call it our 'special place', and without exception we talk to our loved ones there, and visit them whenever we can/ feel the need.

I wish you well, dave, in this next step of your journey. i saw Nic's photos on FB; how beautiful she is - you must be so proud of your memories of her.

Sue xx

Hi Dave

I think we are all relieved to have got over our first Christmas and New Year without our special people. Like Sue said you have done very well, I can't begin to imagine how hard it must have been to put your feelings aside and concentrate on your lads.

It will be lovely to have somewhere special where you can visit Nic and chat to her. All these things we put in place to try to help us to cope with our loss. I think I have done just about everything that has been suggested. I have a special place, write in my journal, long letters to Colin and have made a memory box, whilst I don't open it everyday, it is nice to have a place for all those bits and pieces that are either valuable, sentimental or that just can not be thrown away. I have Colin's aftershave in my memory box and every now and then I look at the letters, cards, his watch and wedding ring etc and have a little smell of it, it reminds me of much happier times, getting ready to go out for a meal etc.

Hope everyone is OK, I returned to work today, it took some effort as there is still a lot of snow here and the temp' was -9 last night. My car wouldn't start for ages! I have just haad a text to say school will be closed tomorrow and poss' Wed' as more snow is forecast! At this rate I could be off until Feb'!

Still no baby news now 3 days overdue.

Have a good evening everyone xxx Lesley xx