My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Good night Lynne.  I am glad you got through today okay.  Sleep well.

I have tried hard today to sort out my problems with tomorrow night.  I need to do it as it is my own doing that I don't like to hurt people's feelings and turn down offers.  Spoke to my neighbour and told her I really don't want to go out.  She was fine with that.  She thought I wanted to go out.  Then I helped her fix her sewing machine so I think we are okay.  I ahd tea at my mum & dad's and made sure they all know they are welcome at mine tomorrow and that I will feed them but they will need to make the fun as my single brain cell doesn't stretch that far.  Just need a good nights sleep now and then lets get on with getting tomorrow out of the way.  Let me get into 2010 instead of dreading it coming round.

Sue I am glad to read that the funeral went well.  What a brave lady writing her own service.

Gayle I hope you are okay.  It must be so hard when the boys let you know they are missing their dad.  ((((bug higs))))xx

Lesley I have my fingers crossed for good news about the little baby very soon.

Rosemary I don't know where you get your ideas but a gazebo for we penguins is brilliant!

Hope everyone else is okay - Dave, Patricia, Manda, Fiona, Helen, Quill, Bren, Cary, Judi, Dot - I so hope I haven't forgotten anyone.  Goodnight everyone xxx

M orning to you All,

I have got up this morning and my cold is back again only got rid of it on xmas day, so not doing a lot will have to do a bit of shopping so waiting on Kim coming in to go. Well i am sure it will be bed for me tonight as don't like it at the best of times but dread it even more now. I am going to see my niece tomorrow morning doing the dee dip for the hospice Derek was in ( she is very  brave as i am sure they will have to break the ice to even get in) Will be glad when it's all passed and back to normal next week well nearly i have to get through Darren getting off to Aus decided not to go to airport with him i will just say goodbye at home as know i am going to be so upset and i think he is going to be as well. He is going with two pals so he will not be at airport on his own Kim's husband taken them up. Well i better get ready to go shopping my luv and hugs to you all for tonight and just to say to you all i would not have got through this year without everybody's support on this site. Luv Fiona xxxxxxxxx   

Luv Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx

Good morning Fiona and everyone else as well.  Sorry your cold has come back Fiona.  I had one at Christmas but it seems to have gone - fingers crossed.  I'm sure an early night will do you good and then like you say you and the rest of us can get back to getting on with things next week.  What day does Darren go?  It is a good idea to say your goodbye and let him go to the airport with his friends.  Before you know it he will be letting you know he has arrived safely and then you can enjoy hearing about his adventure.  Give your niece my best wishes for tomorrow - she is very brave to do the Dee dip but it is for a very good cause.  I'm having a quiet day ready for tonight.  I've watch some TV and prepard some food for tonight.  I'm going to go out to the cemmy shortly.  Hope everyone is okay.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx

Hi everyone

Just taken Boy to the station - he is going to Edinburgh to meet Katy, step-daughter, to hand over a dress (don't ask, if I even start to think about it I get mad!) and then on through to Glasgow for Hogmany.  All quite here now. 

I have been invited out to a couple of different houses as I am staying in Aberdeen, but have decided that I am going to stay at home with the fire on and curtains closed and just stay as cosy as possible.

I managed to get to the cemetery this morning and brushed off all the snow etc.  I am glad that the wreath is still looking lovely, as the roses have frozen solid in the flower holder, it is one big block of ice, so I wasn't able to renew them - but the sun was out while I was there and it was quiet and still and beautiful.

Lesley, I really hope that within no time at all your new arrival will be with us so we can all coo and ahh.  Lynne, well done you on getting through the last few days, your boss sounds lovely.

Ailsa, Fiona, Helen, Gayle, Patrica, Dave, Sue, Rosemary, Quill, Dot, Manda, Cary and everyone else - I will be thinking of you all at midnight and sending you big hugs and thanks for being my friends. 

Evening everyone, back from chilly Porstmouth!!

Had a great time, had a lovely couple of days with bro , family and his in laws. Spent yesterday at Beaulie Motor Museum which I would recommend if you`re down there. Was spoilt with great hospitality but had a few tears saying goodbye this morning as bro goes back off to St Helena for 12 months next week but great to see them all again.

Not sure what I`m doing tonight and if I really want to do anything. In laws and son and daughter are insistent I mustn`t stay in but once they`re all gone out it`s up to me isn`t it??? lol x  Waiting to hear from a friend, I might pop down to our local for a couple later if I can be bothered getting ready x

Well whatever you all do tonight, we`re nearly there. Such wise words from Sue as usual, like Lynne we thought 2009 couldn`t possibly worse than 2008 but it was so I am absolutely convinced that 2010 is going to be a better year for us all.

Happy New Year to all my lovely friends on here xxxx Lets raise a glass, cheers!!!

Helen xxx

Cheers, helen xxx   so glad you had a good time with your brother and his family. have you started  saving up to visit him in St Helena?       Just a thought......

      who wouldn't, eh?

sue xx

Hello everyone i bet you thought you had got rid of me. Well sorry but it ain't that easy lol.

Fiona, before I forget, if youhave your son's flight details you can actually track his journey so you will know when he touches down in Australia. I did that when Ray went to New Zealand. You just go to the airport where his flight leaving from and type in the number for departures. Then when he has taken off you got to the airport where he is  headed and again type in the flight number for arrivals. Carry on in this manner until he reaches Aus.

I hope that whatever you are all doing you manage to see in the New Year peacefully. I will be awake because I have to work so am hoping that we are kept busy so that   I don't actually have to think about it too much. I will think about you all on the stroke of midnight and wish you all well.

Sorry I have not been around too much just lately but have had lots of company so didn't want to be rude. I have been thinking about you all though and lighting my usual candles with you all in mind.

My kids will be setting of more sky lanterns tonight. (I can't as I will not be able to leave my post). 

Take care everyone both old and new. Our loved ones will I am sure be with us in our hearts and minds wherever we go and whatever we do. So please do not despair about leaving them behind in 2009. It is just a number. (she says trying to convince herself).

I feel strangely calm at the momenbt but that is a bad sign so I hope (oh how I hope) that I will not go into meltdown tonight.

To all my 'penguin friends' ((((((((((((((huddle hug))))))))))))).  I wish you all that you wish yourselves for the coming year. I cannot grant you all the one wish you would truly want though so please don't ask.

Love and angel hugs to you all x x x Patricia x x x

p.s. Lynne, where did you find that picture of me tending to gayle??? lol

Hi all

Just wishing everyone as a Happy New Year as possible .Im off to my mates for afew beers and some food.As ive got childcare for tonight

For some reason New Year seems a lot less daunting than xmas was.

Anyway i will be glad to see the back of 2009.

Thanks Dave xx

Evening  ,all , lol Patricia i thought of you xx

Helen my kids are just the same  " you cant stay in "  " er why " , my daughter has persuaded me to go for the meal that was booked with her and her friends (all couples)  but i'm coming home after ,, but at least it will break the night up xx.

 Jud i tell me`about step daughters , i'll tell you about my saga with mine later , , its not bad just frustrating. xx

Thank you to all my freinds on here who i wouldn't have got through the last 6 months , i wish you all the strength to get through tonight ,and hopefully i'll be breaking a rule and drunken post later  lol xx

take care Lynne xxxxxx