My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Just a very quick one for my lovely Patricia.  You say that Ray would be upset at how you are at the moment - yes he would be upset that you are so down and sad - but in my film that I have told you about 'Truly, Madly Deeply' there is one line that Juliet Stevenson's husband says quietly to her - when he comes back to visit:

"Thank you, thank you for missing me so much". 

Patricia hun, that is all you are doing, missing Ray so much. 

Love always, and remember - One day at a time, at your own pace.    Judes xxxxxxx

xxx

Judi, that has brought a lump to my throat. A lovely thought xxx We`re all missing them too much xxx

Patricia hang in there, love the idea of the penguins all huddled together, we need to do that tonight. So cold here xxx

Lesley I`ll be round for the hot chocolate, lots of Rum in mine!! I`ll have Dave`s if he`s not drinking lol xx Hope you`re better after your weekend Dave and well done on the shopping!!

I`m the same as Patricia with the cards, sad that Paul`s name isn`t on them, but would be worse if it was, mad eh!!! I`m going to try and write my cards tonight, not looking forward to it. Not putting Paul`s name on is sad and I can see myself doing it by mistake!!

Liam and Nat are under the weather so fingers crossed I don`t catch the lurgy!1 Too much to do

Love to all, and bug higs xxx

Helen xxx

Loving the penguins, I think that sounds perfect for us and our ledge (just outside on the patio, even more perfect, that means it's near a loo!).  I've brought a stash of sparkly rope and each and every one of you will have one looped around you and if you even slip just the teensiest bit we can all haul you back up.  Patricia we will allow you the outside flock gathering, but we will also make sure you take you turn of coming into the fold and being looked after sometimes, you need it and Ray would insist and you deserve it too.  It is easier to keep afloat when we do the looking after, but you are allowed to let go too and we will be there for you.

Dave, hope you got everything sorted now, I'm sure the boys will be pleased with whatever you wrap up for them.  Good idea to ease up on the alcohol in public (not suggesting binging in private of course!) it does make the emotions run riot otherwise doesn't it.  Don't be afraid to show your grief though, no one will think less of you and they need to know you still hurt sometimes.  Sending you a bug hig directly from West Sussex to you (((((((Dave and the penguins))))))

Off out tonight with a couple of old friends, I'm hoping Daniel will offer to taxi for me, I'll wait and see though.  Will look in later if I get back early enough take care in the meantime, love you all xxxxxx

Hi everyone.  I am waiting for Stu to come round to see me.  I haven't seen him for a few days because of his shifts.  I miss him so badly when he can't come round but I don't like to tell him when he has to work as it isn't fair.  He is going shopping with me tonight so we can have something to eat while we are out.  I have loved reading the posts tonight.  Judi - The penguin huddle describes us perfectly and I love the line from the film as well.  I feel just the same about the Christmas cards as they are arriving.  So sad Chris's name is not there but would be worse to see it there.  There's no pleasing some folk is there?!.  I vote for the cosy sitting room and the ledge just outside.  I want hot chocolate with rum please.  I have a machine that makes lovely chocolate that I could bring!!  I still haven't written my cards - keep finding a million other things I need to do first.  I am having tea at my Mum & Dad's tomorrow and a very dear friend is coming to visit me on Wednesday so that means I can't do any until Thursday.  Glad you got the boys presents Dave.  You sound a little like me about the drinking thing.  I enjoy a drink but I don't think I would be very good with too much right now.  I am scared of having too much and ending up in a tearful bundle.  I am going out on a Christmas do on Friday so I am a bit apprehensive.  Well Stu just arrived and I want to show him the photos from the presentation at Chris's work last Friday.  Hope you are all okay - with Patricia protecting us I am sure we all will be.  I will check in later.  Ailsa xx 

Hello everybody , well had a pretty emotional day , Gordons cousins(Bill) wife (May) has died this morning and the cousin(Elaine ) who i didn't think was talking to me has been really really lovely to me on the phone , i dont know what has happened with face book but she seemed as tho nothing was wrong . She is obviously so upset at losing her sister in law so soon after losing her favorite cousin (Gordon) . I have told them i will go to the funeral which is on friday (do things get sorted quicker in Scotland Judi ) It means a 5 and a half hour train ride but they came to Gordons funeral , even May  came and she clearly found it a struggle , Elaine has said she'll pick me up at the station and i can stay with her , she said Bill will be so pleased i'm going . I feel i owe it to Gordon to go , he was very close to Bill and i always got on with him very well , i cant believe the pain he has got to go through . I plan on going thurs afternoon and come back on sat morning . One of my step daughters is going up too , one cant make the journey has she has been of work 4 months now waiting for a op for a slipped disc and it will be to much for her . I cant say i'm looking forward to it but do we ever look forward to these things ?. I cant believe i've got 3 days off work to do shopping and now thats gone out the window . Who is the shopoholic ? is it Lesley , i'll give you my lists .....

I love the penguin story Judi . sorry my mind is mush tonight , i'll go off and digest the posts , i'll be sticking round all night .

Take care xxxxxxxx

Dear Lynne

so sorry - sending you loads of hugs and srength for the coming week.

Sue xxx

Thanks Sue xxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Lynne,

So sorry to hear that, sending you loads of love and ((((((HUGS)))))
Quill xxxx