My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi Sue , thanks i've found it now , i wouldn't have if you hadn't given me fool proof insructions . World record , what do they know ? we'll show em . I'm still waiting for mine , they tried to deliver them last thurs but as i wasn't in there going to deliver to local post office now , just got to call in every day untill i get them . Hope everybody is avig a reasnable day xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone.

I am not even going to attempt to comment on everyone's posts as you all must have sore fingers from typing - there were so many pages.  I will try to read back through this evening and catch up.  Lynne - I haven't managed to find it on iplayer yet - so good on you.  Am about to have another attempt.

Yesterday I started/tried to 'christmas' up the house with twinkly lights etc and it does look pretty and for a while I was quite chuffed with myself - then I had that horrible "What's the point - there's only me to look at it" moment so went to bed cos I know it would pass, given time.

This afternoon a friend popped round out of the blue and she thought it looked lovely, so there you go - that's why I did it. 

Right - off to walk the mutts, will be back later with a pen and paper so that I can catch up properly.

Loads of love  Judi xx

Waving at you all on my way to my pit, sorry not been on tonight but been messing about on Facebook (as some of you may be aware, just putting another log on the fire and then going to curl up with Manda).  Hope you are all doing ok, especially you Patricia big hug I know it is a hard week for you xxxxxx

Good old YouTube, this should be a link to the lanterns, BBC aren't showing it anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r_FwuWe-48

Hello everyone,

Hope you are all well.  Thinking of you Fiona and Patricia (and everyone else) who all have difficult weeks ahead of them. 

I saw the Sky Lanterns on BBC IPlayer - they looked fab.  I couldn't believe how big they were when they arrived.  I told my mum about them and she thinks they are a good idea too.  We had a good chat the other day and I often forget how Wully's death affected so many and how upset my mum gets over it as her and my dad were very close to him too.

I am supposed to be going to a carol concert at the hospice tomorrow night but when I phoned today to confirm the time the girl didn't know anything about it?  I will phone again tomorrow and find out for definite.

Bug Higs to everyone.

Gayle

Hi everyone.  I just managed to find it on iplayer - but it was well hidden, I had just about given up.  How is everyone?  I have been to the hospice this evening for a bit of a gathering and a singsong.  It was really nice.  Didn't know what to expect.  Stu & Suzanne came with me.  We sang some nice Christmas songs, listened to some poems and a nice female singer.  Then they lit their Christmas tree outside with more than 2500 lites each remembering someone special.  I got a bit emotional at that point.  They gave us each a glowstick on the way in and we had to make the sticks light up when the tree was lit.  Then they did the final song and set a snow machine on the blow snow onto the tree!!  Finished off with a coffee and a mince pie.  I'm really glad I went now.  Chris has been entered in their book of rememberance as well.

I got a lot of my trimmings up on Sunday.  It was hard work as a lot are outside and it was cold, wet and blowy here on Sunday.  The tree is up as well.  That was the really tough bit but it is done now and it looks lovely.  Just a few more bits and pieces to put out but I will get that done later this week.

How are you Patricia?  ((((((bug higs))))))xxx

I saw the photos of Charlie on FB Fiona - what a lovely baby.  Bet you can't wait for your turn now Lesley.

Glad to hear you got the slate done at the cemmy at the weekend Lynne.  I took a Christmas wreath through to Chris so that he got trimmed for Christmas first!!

Right - best be off to bed.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Hi all, thanks for all the hugs. Saturday we went out for a family meal to celebrate my son and my dad's birthday's. A good evening was had by all but Ray was greatly missed.

Sunday, went to mass and lit candles for all my friends on here especially Quill who some of you know. Also for Ray and my mum amongst others (I think I must keep the church lit up with all my candles).

Sunday afternoon I went alone to the 'Light up a Life' carol service at St. Gemma's.  We were all given a candle to light during the service. There were carols (sob sob) and words of support and reflection. Then there was a soloist (lovely) and a lone piper (Scottish bagpipes) oh dear really sobbing now as mum loved the bagpipes and it was the very haunting Pipers Lament. Then all the lights on the trees were lit in remembrance or in homour of someone (all sponsored by the public to raise funds for the hospice). More carols and they ended by wishing everyone a very happy Christmas (I wish). We were invited indoors for hot drinks and mince pies(yuk).  An oportunity to enter a message in the book of rememberance which is open all year. (I put Ray and my mum in there). I brought my candle home to light on Christmas day.

Several people(at least 4) asked me if I was ok and one lady gave me a hug and asked me to sit by her for a while. I must have looked so forlorn.   It was an extremely emotional experience but I would not have missed it for anything.

Sunday evening saw me out with my sister and her husband and also my dad (again for dad's birhtday). Ray was talked about lots. (I took us each a small tot of Irish Mist for us each to toast mum and Ray).

Today I have kept myself busy doing all sorts of stuff. My daughter bought some white Roses (bless her). Both my son's were making sure I was ok and several memebers of the family have been in contact. How thoughtful to think of me on this difficult anniversary day without Ray. We were robbed. We should have had so many more years together.

Sorry for the long post.

I hope that everyone has had a reasonable day.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

my dear Patricia,

You are a very brave lady - these special dates are hard, are they not, especially with the poignancy of Christmas looming.

well done for doing so much!

Talking of carols, tomorrow I take my school choir to the cathedral in Clifton for the school choirs' carol service - over 1,000 children singing their little hearts out.  A real donkey in the nativity tableau as well.

take care, patricia, love and hugs

sue xx

Dearest Sue, what lovely flowers. Thank you. I have been busy all the weekend just to keep my mind occupied because when I stop to think I just cry.

I hope the carol service goes well Sue and that you get through it ok. Wish I was close by. I would come to see it. (Maybe a good job I can't because I would not be able to resist singing too).

Love and angel hugs to get you through the day.  x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Everyone,  Thanks for all your kind posts, it is going to be a hard week. Also thank you for all the posts on baby Charlie, just back in from seeing him he is growing already, he has gave me a reason to smile again. I like your post Sue you sent me, and you are right i will be going around like a tramp and spending all my money on Charlie.(ha ha). I am getting xmas cards in and i am just putting them to the side to i get this week passed then i will open them and put my tree up hopefully. Derek didn't like  the run up to it xmas but  he enjoyed the xmas day and was always the first to open his presents. Just never thought for one minute he would not see last xmas. Well granny Fiona signing off for tonight and getting off to bed. Luv and Hugs to everyone. Fiona xxxxxxxxx