My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening All , Ailsa your photos are great , what a fab weekend you had and you've still got the wedding to look forward too , more lovely pictures yippee . Well we had a lovely time at disney on ice , dont know who enjoyed it most the girls or me and my sis , we cant  wait for the "grown up " one in april now . The show really was well done , we spent a fortune on flashy things , wands , programmes and of course pop corn which i hate . The girls never stopped chattering and dancing , it was lovely to see them . Thank you to my lovely husband who got these tickets 6 months ago xxxx .

Hi to everybody else , i'll be back soon .

Happy birthday Esme , i hope you've been ok .

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening xx

Ailsa your photos are great, glad you had such a lovely time. Lynne glad you enjoyed last night too, Gordon will be pleased xxx

Well I`ve got a very sad daughter. She can`t sleep, she feels sick every time she thinks about burying Paul`s ashes on Sunday and isn`t looking forward to her birthday or Paul`s next week. She had a good sob in my arms last night (nearly 16 but not too big for a cuddle) My friend`s Dad`s funeral is set for next Wednesday too - Paul`s birthday- but I suppose at least I can have a drink or 2 to toast him and my friend`s Dad xxx

Also since I went out with my neighbour the other Saturday to meet up with friends he has not stop texting me!!! I went in our local at the weekend and tried to explain it is too much but he must have the skin of a rhino!!! Don`t get me wrong I think he is a kind person but it has been getting a bit much. Invited me out for tea, I said No so he suggested different night!! I text him again last night to try and explain I am missing Paul and not wanting anything else (he keeps saying it is only friendship but feels a bit full on!!) but still heard from him today. Quiet so far tonight so fingers crossed.

Hope everyone else is ok tonight

Helen xxx

Happy Birthday Esme!!!!! xxxxxx

Hope it has passed ok xxxx

Ah Helen , what a tough week you've got coming up , i'm so sorry your "little gilr" is so upset , i dont know how i would cope with watching the kids in so much pain , i hope she manages to get through it ok . Yes have a few drinks to get through next wed , just hope sunday isn't to traumatic for you all . Maybe the build up might be worse than the actual day , we all know we've felt like that before . i had a feeling "your friend" might have wanted more , but i'm sure you'll handle it , but its just another problem for you isn't it . It will all work out in the end , get this weekend and wed over first hun and see how you feel then (probably the same )

thanks for the comments on the pictures Ailsa , Sue and Helen xxxxxxxxxxx

Good evening everyone.  Happy birthday Esme

I hope your day has been okay Esme xxx  (((higs)))

Dot - I would love to do Shona a scrap book but a very dear friend of hers from school is home from Australia for the wedding & the hen do (that is why they are so close together) and she has already planned something similar.  She asked us all for some photos from Shona's past that meant something to us as well.  I gave her a photo of Shona & I when Shona was a baby as she is 11 years younger than me.  I gave her one taken just in April this year with my other sister as well (they both came to see Chris) and one from my wedding where Shona was one of my bridesmaids when she was only 8.  It is a lovely idea that I will pinch for another special occassion no doubt.

Lynne your picture from the show on FB look great - well done Gordon xx

Judi - the Verve was great - well spotted - there were 2 bottles coz we were having fun!!!

Helen - it must be really hard for you all right now but your daughter is struggling with the added burden of her own birthday being so close to Paul's.  Even though it will be such an emotional time for you all I really hope it all goes as it should.  I feel sure that after you have buried Paul's ashes, attended the funeral of your friends father and had a birthday drink for Paul you will at least feel you have done Paul proud and completed what needed to be done.  I know I am busy over the weekend and won't have access to a PC but I wish you all the strength you need for the weekend and I will be thinking of you and your children.  Take care xxx

Helen, just offering my love and support to you and the family for Sunday. Such a difficult time for you all. Your poor wee girl is having a tough time isn't she. It is going to be hard for her to get through her birthday. Awwww.

Lynne, I am glad you enjoyed the show and I am sure Gordon will know that.

Ailsa, enjoy the wedding.

Sue how are you?

Judi, Gayle, Dot, Kaz, Fiona, and anyone I have not mentioned,  I hope that you are ok.

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Thank you all for my birthday wishes and also on Facebook - Sue my favouritest character, Eeyore I have jumpers and cuddlies of him!  It hasn't been too bad a day, although bombarded with family who all wanted to do something and make it special, whether I wanted to or not. As with all things it is the anticipation that is the worst I think, but having spent the last week remembering last year and how awful it all was, but having Steve (albeit in hospital) still and he gave me the most beautiful eternity ring, so all that kept coming back but today I felt a bit numb, I felt like I was playing a part again and just getting through and dong what everyone wanted.  But I do know how lucky I am, I have two lovely children that spent time finding lovely things for me, flowers, presents and going out for a meal tonight (although I slipped Daniel the money for it as Samantha tends to spend too much on everything and I know he was feeling stretched), also my family and even the infernal in-laws "only want to help".

Helen it must be so hard for your daughter, my Sam's birthday was 4 days after Steve's funeral and not easy.  Love to you both for the weekend. xxxx

Absolutely tired out now so off to make drinks and then bed, but wanted to give my friends on here a hug and say a big thank you for helping me through. xxxxxx

Glad you got through the day ok Esme even if it was abit of a trauma.Sleep well.

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Hi Everyone,  Glad you got through your birthday Esme, and hope you had a nice time ( well the best you could) Ailsa glad you had a good weekend will catch up and see your photos on facebook. When is the wedding? Helen hope you and your family get through the next week i know what you are going through with your daughter as Kim has been the same lately but all we can do is give them a cuddle, Kim just wishes her dad could be here to see her baby when it's born 2 weeks to go but she has not been feeling to great this week so may be not long now. Lynne your photos were great two lovely wee girls. Hope everyone else is doing ok? I have been away with my sister to Edinburgh to the musical  We Will Rock You it was fantastic has anyone seen it? It was one of the best i have seen. We went on the train from Lockerbie but we had an hours drive to get there and the weather was terrible coming home so wet and lots of floods.My sister really enjoyed it as well and it was nice for us to get away together as not easy now with my dad on his own. He is not too bad his back getting better but he has had a shock and very unsafe on his feet,  well i better get off to bed as going to collect pram in morning if in ,as it was meant to be in by the first  week in Nov and still waiting so will give them a phone first, then got someone coming to service my gas boiler and gas fire been waiting on him for ages as well Speak soon Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Glad you enjoyed the show Fiona but sorry dad is not so good. Not long now till the baby arrives. A little bit of excitement amongst the worry and sadness. Take care love and it is nice to see you back.

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x