My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening all, and big hug for Helen (when you get it) I know the first time I went out this year "after" I suddenly felt sick and so nervous, which was silly as it was just with friends and I would have been going on my own anyway.  I guess it is our confidence that has been knocked.

I had the following sent to me a while ago and again today so thought I would share it with you all - it's for all my new found lady friends and for all the lovely men on here too to find the strength from the women they love.

One Flaw In Women  

Women have strengths that amaze men...
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in...
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Judi you were talking about things that you want to keep for sentimental reasons, how about the loo rolls in our downstairs loo?  Well they aren't all the original ones, but Steve always kept all the loos (we have three, sounds grand but now when you have to clean them all) stocked up with plenty of loo rolls - buying 6 and getting 3 free was always a bonus! At one time we had 42 in the downstairs loo!  After Steve died Daniel said "Lets keep that tradition, it wouldn't be the same going in there without the pyramid at the back of the loo".  So certain things have to change, but the Andrex pyramid remains!

Ooooh has anyone got suggestions what to do with a wayward kitten?  Dave (6 months old now) is terrorising the dogs ( 2 year old Rhodesian Ridgebacks and goodness knows how much bigger than him), he keeps trying to steal their beds and when they are on them he wants to curl up beside them, which is sooo cute but Kofi is terrified although he usually manages to cope if Dave doesn't touch him, but Geordie has suddenly started getting very upset at the VERY LOUD purring right beside him and keeps snapping and snarling at him.  Dave stalks off and then.... stomps right back again, stretching out, purring loudly and poking Geordie with his paws! Oh for a peaceful evening, what with all this and yesterday the fireworks making Kofi run around barking madly I should be losing weight with all the jumping up and down I'm doing.

It's my birthday in two weeks and I really don't know how to cope with it again this year, I just want to forget it.  Last year Steve was in hospital (dehydrated) and we went in to see him, he gave me the most gorgeous eternity ring (it was my 50th) I have his card in my bedside cupboard, he had to ask Samantha to write it for him and put a lovely message in there which he sent to her by text - which was amazing for him as he wasn't good at text, or flowery speeches.  Oh it's breaking my heart all over again.  Sorry.  All I want is a hug.

Sorry, xxxx

Hi Esme Lovely lovely words

Take care Lynne xxxxxxxxx

Esme, I know it is not the hug you want but ((((((((((((((((((((((((((A HUGE  HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))) for you from me. The time leading up to your birthday will I expect be difficult for you. A) because of your memories of the last one B) because of the loss you have suffered and not being able to have the only gift you would ever want. (Steve by your side).  I am sending you lots of love and emotional support to help you through the coming weeks.

Helen I hope you have a fab time and don't find it too traumatic.

Lesley, long posts are good. It is better than reading a book and just another instalmaent of our 'cyber soap'. Keep them coming.   I have been going to support groups in the local hospice and the people who are there to help are very varied in their approach. One person asked me if I keep myself busy so that I don't think of Ray. I found that quite upsetting as I never want to 'not think of him.

Lynne,I hope you didn't spend too much on me lol. Sorry to hear that there is a delay with the headstone but hope that the wait is worthwhile. Enjoy your night out party girl.

Ailsa, keep smiling and I hop you enjoy your evening with your friends. (I will just sit home alone unloved and unwanted lol) ;-)

Fiona, Trudi, Sue, Dot and everyone else I hope you are all ok

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Evening all - just sending you all (((((((((((bug higs))))))))))))))) especially to Esme (and Patricia feeling unloved and unwanted)...............xxxx

oooooopppppssss!!!  Spot the deliberate mistake????  Hope it has you smiling???? xx

It had me laughing out loud dottee and that doesn't happen often. x x Patricia x x

Good - I'm pleased that you've had a laugh................I may learn to tye one day!!!  But then again - I've always been a 'spoonerism specialist'!!!!!  We have 'teasted toecakes' at home!!!!  In fact I've asked for a 'teasted toecake' in a cafe and got exactly what I wanted!!!!!  So perhaps I'm not on my own???? xx

Evening All,

Hope you are all ok tonight, Helen hope all went well today? I am still feeling down and so alone just watching x factor and then bed as feel i could be getting the cold. Kim selling her flat and it  should go through on Thurs so going to finish  cleaning it tomorrow for her. She had to finish school yesterday as she had been at the clinic and she has high blood pressure and needs to rest. Lynne i hope you enjoy your night with your daughter what would we do without them. Ailsa you are so busy you are making me tired. You need to give me a push. Keep looking for Scoob around the house. It has been very cold and wet here today so glad i was working to pass the day. Well going to take my knitting out. I also like reading all the post whether they are long or short. Take Care Fiona xxxxxxxx  

....I may also learn to proof-read my jottings......  Fiona - sending you a (((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))) to comfort you.  I do so hope that Kim is OK and resting plenty now?? Good luck to her with the flat sale.........To everyone else sending love and more (((((((bug higs))))))))) - deliberately as it amuses you!!!!!

Dot xxxxxx

Fiona ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).  It is hard to pick yourself up when you have had such a big knock. It is going to take time love. but yuou already know that.

Dottee keep up the funny posts.

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x