My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember over 15 years ago

7970 replies
26 subscribers
1744854 views

My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Kev,
Good idea Kev the wii fit sounds good and that would save me going out in the dark. I need to do something. I am sure the holidays will go in, i know it's not easy when you have to work i can remember it well. Derek's workmates are having a golf tournament in a couple of weeks in his memory so i am going to watch them play. I usually do the race for life but there was not one in our area this year . In the years i done it not once did i think it was going to effect me in such a short time.
Take Care
Fiona x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

HI Helen, I actually met big Frank twice would you believe, the first time he was in a red Ferrari just at the beginning of his boxing career and the second just at the end of his career, they were two completely different people just goes to show you what it does to your brain.

Kev xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Paul used to love the boxing but I hated it when they got too hurt!!! We actually got up at 3 am the Saturday before Paul died on the Tuesday to watch Hatton fight....and lose!!
Noticed Khan is fighting on Saturday, maybe I should watch it for Paul xxx

Helen xxx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Fiona, if you get one I want a weekly report on your progress ok and no cheating, the wii fit keeps a record of your progress and makes you stand straight!!

Kev xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi everyone. Just having a quick catch up before I go to bed. My son has been round all evening so this is my first chance. I got a Wii fit last week but can't use it because I keep getting an error message on the Wii!! That's before it checks my weight!!! I need to try to find out what's wrong with it. I will try technical support tomorrow.

I did the race for life in 2007 without realising how significant it would become. Couldn't do it last year as Chris was admitted to hospital same day. I gave it a miss this year as well because it was a bit too soon but a work mate did it and had Chris's name on her shirt - nice thought. I'll do it next year when I am all fit from the Wii fit.

I tend to feel the same about boxing Helen - but too violent for me - but Chris & Stu enjoyed watching it. I remember staying up nearly all night last year to watch a fight, can't remember who it was but we had a laugh.

I am helping my daughter out with those pricey holiday clubs this summer - I am taking my Grandson for a couple of weeks at the start of his holidays. I don't envy you the full 7 weeks Kev and because I sided with your son I feel a bit guilty now (not)!

Well I had best get off to bed. Today wasn't too bad a day, only a few tears on the way home from work. I think weekends are probably the worst and I am not looking forward to dark nights in either. Take care everyone. Ailsa xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi everyone and it's good night from him.

kev xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Evening everyone

Had quite a good day today. Like Ailsa I find weekends really hard if I don`t have anything planned!! I`m dreading the winter nights, think that`s partly why I`ve joined the gym. Might look into a Wii fit too!

Just cooked tea, actually made a meal tonight!! Waiting for it to finish in the oven.Have a nice evening everyone, might catch you all later

Helen xxx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi all, lets all get a wii fit and do it at the same time and give that blinkin mr. motivator a run for his money.

Kev xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Sounds like a plan to me! I've had another reasonable day today - how about everyone else? Ailsa xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello everyone, my day is ok so far but again I can smell my dinner burning, they should have computers with a nose so you could all tell me "Kev your dinner" instead of me sitting here and not realising (is that how you spell it?) it's my dinner burning.

Kev xx

More from this forum

My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?