My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Oh Gayle if you want to rant you rant , the horrible man , i would have smacked him i think , hope posting on here helps , it usually does me ,.. ((((((hugs ))))))))))Wish i could help more hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gayle, yiou are better than them. I always say, unless you have a walked a mile in someone else's shoes then you cannot possibly know what they are going through.  I just hope they never have to go through the torment that you are enduring right now.  I know it is not the same but..  (((((((((((((((((((Great big hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  for you x x x Patricia x x x

Gayle,  don't you ever, ever,  ever apologise for ranting.  I have just read that in total disbelief and want to go and smash their windown (or heads).  I have no idea how you are managing to stay the rest of the day. As I don't know your circumstances I am hoping that your imminent move means that you will be changing bosses.  And you ARE much better than them. 

I am very luck with my boss who is a registered blind (although he can see to a degree) professor at a uni.  He is so kind and understanding - apart from the days that he doesn't see that I am crying when I walk in and just starts talking about all the work we have to get through that day.  Though I am lucky in that normally that is enough to make me stop!!

Massive hugs to you and poison darts to your boss.

Judi xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Debs , sorry i missed your post , yes the bench is lovely , when the workmen we're putting it in position they said to me"  is this ok " so i went and laid down on it and said it was fine lol . They couldn't believe it blees em . I cant wait to get back up there but got to wait for daughter to get here . Still waiting for the garage to get back to me . grr hate waiting .

Lynne xxxxxxxxx

Ailsa, what is this walk you keep mentioning I am curious?  Debs what job do you do? You will find it hard initially but over time it will get easier. I have been back since the end of July and am only now getting to feel at all comfortable. Lynne, so glad to hear your bench is now inb place. Is it one you have commissioned or is it a municiple bench? Gayle, rant and rave and carry on all you want. They are no better than you.  If you have to talk to them just imagine them sat naked and that will make you smile (or feel sick) lol.

love x x Patricia x x

gayle

Oh my god i don't think i could control myself, poison dart winging its way to your boss. Good luck for rest of day not sure i could stay but at least you will be moving soon. As the others say, don't apoligse for ranting that is what this place is for. Wully may not be there to give you a cuddle but you know he is still there in your heart telling you how much better you are than them.

Debs x

Patricia sorry missed your post, i work for a supermarket, only going back 4 days a week initially, but does seem scarey. i think I mentioned it before but it was where me and Liam met, so holds many memories. Its a big place and I know that some people know my circumstances and others don't so hoping not too many people put there foot in it, if you know what i mean. But as you say it will get easier and I can't stay cooped up in the house all the time, not least that i can't afford to but i guess for me it is one of the first steps of getting on with my life. As much as i feel I don't want to I know Liam would be kicking me up the rear and telling me stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it.

Debs x

Hi Patricia , the walk is a walk round lady bower and the derwent (i think ) its a macmillon walk , Dotte was going on it and as i live quite close (25 mins away ) i'm going to do it too , i'm sure Dottee will post the link again if anyone else is interested .. The bench is one his daughter bought (she wanted to do it ) the council then lay the pavers and fit it with brackets (in case someone wants to take it away with them ) the coiuncil dont charge for that which i was quite suprised about . Its placed directly in front of Gordons grave but others could sit on it if they wanted to stare at my husbands flowers .. There is quite a few benches up there now , it seems quite a popular thing to do . I love it .. Gayle hope your feeling better and if your boss is still standing i'll be very suprised with all the bad thoughts (and poison darts ) thats being thrown his way ..

Lynne xxxxxxxxxx

Debs, i understand what you say about wanting to stay home. It is the place where we feel safe and cannot be bombarded with questions about how you are feeling (or worse).

Thanks for info on the walk Lynne.  I have not heard of the lady bower. will check it out tho.  Good about the bench. Not often the council will do something without charging.

Take care all x x

    gayle, the silly t**t deserves no less.

Seriously, i think you should make a written record of what happened while it is still fresh in your mind, and if the company you work for is big enough, send a copy to HR. I should think that you ahve enough evidence to make a formal complaint -can you retrieve the e-mail that you deleted?

It is NOT alright for them to treat you in this way; are you a member of a union? if so, you could ring and ask for support. If not, join one quickly!

Just keep on ranting on here; we'll listen and even get a posse together to sort him out!!!

Sue x