My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

I joined this website in October 2008 as a Macmillan nurse was just being arranged to come to the house but my husband died the day she was to visit.  It is nearly eleven months since that day and tonight I received an e-mail about the new site and followed the link. 

I am glad I did.  I have spent the evening reading most of the posts on this forum, and I wanted to say thank you. Some of you have such a wonderful way with words, I didn't know that so many people had been through and felt exactly the same way I still do.  A lot of your thoughts, words and experiences could have been taken right out of my head.  Although I don't feel any less sad or 'detached from the world' I now realise that if I am going mad, then I am not alone.  It really helped to know that it is 'normal' to feel just as lost, if not more, as I did on that day.  So thanks

Judi, first let me say sorry for your loss.  Now, welcome to the site.  I hope that you manage to find some solace and support fromthe members on here.  I have found them all to be very supportive.  There is no hard and fast rule in the grieving process. Only recently we were discussing that very topic.  Everyone finds their own level but in their own time. We all have our down days and our not so down days. This site has just been re-opened as it has joined with another site so we are all a little lost right now.  Please come back again. We would love to hear from you. x x Patricia x x

Morning all , Well Sue you summed it up perfectely SULKING big style . its not the same but at least we are all getting back one by one , think Fiona , Coral and a couple others will fine there way eventually . Welcome Judi . Plaese keep posting  this post is great once everybody gets back to our normal way of posting , at the moment we are all just dipping our toes in and getting out again . Patrisha its my "just to talk to my husband " thread thats gone , oh well it might turn up , they are still ironing out little problems ..

Well my water feature has come at last for my little garden , but i couldn't build it up , to many wires , pipes and screws , my sons will do it today . 2 more days then of to butlins , mon to fri , with my sister and her husband , bless em for letting me tag on , then i,m back for a week and then its Benidorm for mon to fri so that will get me through a couple of weeks , Whats everybody else up to today? besides navigating this b****y site .. Grrr .

Glad we are back , face book good , but nothing replaces this and the bond we have .. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FOUND IT YIPPEE XX

Still finding this incredibly confusing I keep clicking the wrong the wrong thing and ending up on different threads. Still It's good to be back. Had a rough few days without you all, it has just passed a month since my wonderful Liam left me and sometimes I feel It is getting worse. Have got a date to start back at work though, 29th sept so I think that will help just getting out the house a bit more.

I received an invite from the hospice to attend a berevement group but not sure whether to go or not. Has anyone else been to them if so did they find they helped?

Lynne hope you get your water feature working, your garden sounds fantastic.

Morning everyone

Lynne glad you`ve found your threadxxx

Debs I went to our hospice over the summer hols, it wasn`t a group just one to one with the social worker. She just asked how I was etc, so to be honest I didn`t find it much help. I told her about this site and thread and she said this was probably one of the best ways of support talking to all of you.

Hope you get your water feature done Lynne, I`m going to do a bit of shopping then maybe try looking at cars again this afternoon

Helen xxx

Also welcome Judi

So sorry to hear you have to be here too but this site is such a help and support. Once we all get used to finding our way around here!!

One thing I have noticed everyone, there is a chat room!!! Might have to try it tonight.....party in the chat room...don`t forget the wine and chocolate!!!!

Morning, all

lynne, SOOO glad you've found your thread -it's like losing a comfort blanket!!

Judi, welc ome - please'move in' with us and we will support you all we can. believe it or not, we have a laugh quite often, but we are always here for one another. You may read some unusual references to blankets and toy puppies, but don't be confused;  it's our way of helping our lynne through some dusky moments!

well, H - car shopping, eh? what are you going for? More importantly, what colour is it?????

Debs, it might be worth giving the hospice counselling a go; i stillo have links with the unit where Alan was treated, and that in itself  is a sort of therapy. Alic e and I raise money for little luxuries for the patients undergoing long sessions of chemo and transfusions and it helps us to stay involved.

have to go now; back later.

sue x

Morning Everyone,

Hope that you are all well and finding your way around again.

Helen - The chat room is fab I was on there last night untill 2am give it a go.

Love and (((((((((HUGS)))))) to you all.

Quill xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks everyone for saying hi and welcome.  I have started the day by walking the dogs and am seriously considering doing some ironing, but then I have been seriously considering that for weeks now!  Does anyone else find that they really just can't be bothered to do anything like that.  I am so good at putting things off now it is ridiculous.  For some reason I particularly hate Saturdays and find myself getting quite anxious early evening onwards, so I think maybe I will come on this site tonight and see if I can pass a few hours.  xx