My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
Hi, Helen
Times are like that - you have a great evening out with nat and liam,then little things bring you right back down again! i think it's called our new normality. hang on in there, girl, we'll make it.
Ailsa, have a fab camping holiday. I have to say that i have never, and will never, see the joy in sleeping in a tent - i'm just a bit too fond of my own bed and en suite!!!!
Enjoy???????????!!!!!!!!!!
I so hope the weather is good for you - it's been blowing a gale here all day and i got caught in a heavy shower, complete with thunder, when i took the dogs out earlier. Oh joy!
Lynne, so impressed that you've been inspired by kaz's garden pictures; they're stunning, aren't they!No prizes for guessing what you're going to be up to the next few days!
Kaz, get off facebook and come back here right away!!!
I have absolutely no plans whatsoever for the weekend; how exciting am I! On Monday Alice and i wil go to the local agricultural show, which we visit every year (first one without Alan - he used to love it.) it's haeld in the grounds of a castle, and is fab - animals, show jumping, carriage driving, dog show, loads of stalls, chocolate(who said that?) , and a funfair. There's also a massive marquee with all the old traditional village show competitions like knitting, flower arranging, chocolate, children's painting competitions etc. Just hope it stays fine. Sarah and her 2 girls are meeting us there, so it should be good.
enjoy the weekend, everyone.
Sue x
