My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Thanks for adding me. The video is lovely Lynne and what a nice family you have - I am sure Gordon would have been laughing along with you with the balloons going off by accident. Helen, your pics are fab too. Your children are lovely and you looked to have a nice time on holiday. I will need to get myself in gear and add on my holiday pics now.

I don't know about you, but I always find it so hard to look at people's pictures of their partners who they have lost. They always look like lovely kind people and it just makes it all so frustrating doesn't it? Why them?

Take care

Gayle xx

Hi Gayle , i'll agree with you on both counts i do have alovely family and it is hard looking at photos of the lost ones , so so unfair ..

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Guys
Gayle I hope you dont mind but I will try and find you on facebook.. Sounds like you all had an ok day.
I was going to crash out in the garden this p,m but Micks best friend and his wife came to visit have not seen them since the funeral.. It was lovely to see them but I could see they were close to tears all day. What do you do? We spoke about Mick all day and all the memories.. Had a chinese but it just was not the same without him.. It was heart breaking....I am drained ..
Going to have an early night hot choc and a sleeping tablet....
Catch up with you all in the morning lots of love and hugs
kaz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello everyone. Had a nice bbq at my mum & dad's. It was fun and we had lots of good food. I still feel like I am sitting on the edge though. I even felt like the sensible adult as one point. I was driving so couldn't have a drink so that didn't help. Even my dad got a bit tipsy bless him! I suppose letting my hair down will come in time. I had a really good weekend so I hope everyone else did. There have been some very busy ones - I have been looking at your photos on facebook Lynne. I couldn't make the video play but I will have another go tomorrow. The photos are great. I am sure Gordon would have thought the fly away balloons were funny.
Hope you get a good nights sleep Kaz.
Sorry to read about the car problems Fiona.
I find the photos of peoples partners very difficult to look out without getting upset as well Gayle - it just doesn't seem fair that these lovely people are not here anymore.
I had a few tears before going to mum & dad's this afternoon because Chris always loved their bbqs and he wasn't coming with me. I found myself finding it very difficult to accept he wasn't going to be around again. I thought I had got my head round this. Presumably these feelings will continue to come and go for a while yet.
Well I had best get off to bed after my busy weekend and get some sleep. Night night all. Ailsa xx

Hi Ailsa,

I know what you mean about the tears coming and going. It is always the silliest things that set me off at the moment. I met Wully's best friend in the supermarket this morning and he was buying a bunch of flowers for his wife and asked the boys did they think they were nice and I could feel myself welling up. Feeling sorry for myself that no-one will be buying me flowers now as Wully loved buying me nice flowers.

Kaz, thanks for asking me on FB. We have a right little club now! I will definitely add my pics this week as have load from last week of the holiday and the birthday parties.

Well I have done my ironing so I am now going to study. I work as an accountant but want to do more exams. I was supposed to sit one in June but Wully died a few days after so I missed that one as he was going into the hospice that day. Wully made me promise many times over that I would finish them all so I better dust down the books. The exams are twice a year so next ones are December so better get moving. I need to do this not just for Wully but to make sure I can support the kids well.

Hope you all have a good Monday. I am back to work tomorrow after a week off so can't be bothered and I am starting weightwatchers tomorrow so equally dismal day. Think I will get stuck into the pringles and double decker now before I can't eat anything lol!!!

Gayle xxx

Laughed about the balloons lynne coz that is the sort of thing that would have happened to me too. good luck with the studying gayle when you get around to it. As you all say, it is hard when family or friends call because it was always when your other half was with you before. My mum-in-law rang me tonight. Most unusual but she said she was worrying about me. I was feeling very down so I wonder if she picked up on that. Missing Ray so much this evening. Can't stop crying. I feel such a fool but I have no control over it so just going with it.
Hope you all manage to sleep. I am begining to think a good night's sleep is a myth made up by bed companies just so we buy more beds and bedding.
Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

morning lynne
it was avery emotional weekend for you, and yes I know wht you mean about feeling lonely in a crowd.
Take care
sue x

Morning everyone

Yes a lovely busy weekend here too but also the tears. What are we all like!!!

Think I better do some cleaning today, nearly the end of the hols back a week on Thursday!!

Son has got his driving test at 9.30. He hasn`t told anyone so I`m quietly keeping everything crossed xxxHe failed 1st time so would love him to do it today. Have a good Monday everyone

Helen xx

Oh Kaz I`ll have to look for you on facebook too!!

best wishes for your son today - what a way to start the week!
dreading going back to work next week, so a bit of retail therapy today!!!!
Sue x