My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Had a bath.. Got my hot choc and off to bed.. I know how to have a good time..
Hope you all have a good nights sleep....
Dont stay up too late,,,,lots of love and hugs kaz xx

Night Kaz i wont be long after you, had enough of today
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Everyone,
Well my day not been to bad but work kept me busy and i think that helps me. I also had to visit the dentist this week needed a filling sorted i hate going but was scared it would get to the weekend and it would get sore. Helen hope you get on ok at the wedding. I have nothing planned for the weekend but working tomorrow. My sister going on holiday on Wed for a fortnight so i will be kept busy looking after my dad he doesn't keep good health and has breathing problems so can't do much for his self. Well i will get off to bed i think i will try the diazapam tonight again just hope i don't get to depended on them. Speak again soon hope you all have a good weekend or the best you can.
Take Care
Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Gayle must be the week for dentists , i hate them too . Have a good weekend too xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good mornoing all , well i made it through the night , slept quite well really think i was exhausted or maybe all the pain killers . I dont feel to bad at the moment but i expect when his daughter gets here itn will be worse . I'm taking my wreath up to the grave this morning and we are all going up at 4.30 to release the balloons with the little ones . His other daughter in Afghan is going to light a canlde in the chappel at the same time , poor thing being on her own . They've both left a lovely message on his face book page , they really do miss him so much (as we all do ) Anyway i'll get on if the weather stays nice we'll have another BBq (3rd on the run now ) but its easier than cooking for 10 , someone else will do the BBQ cooking and i'll just do the other stuff (and clearing up )
Hope to catch up with you all later , hope everybody else has a good day ..

Take care

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope it goes ok today Lynne, thinking of you xxxx kaz

Morning

I survived!!! After all the worrying the song wasn`t played, unless I missed it?? No, to be honest it wasn`t really the time as the wedding was so busy and only a small group of people knew Paul. I nearly went home about 10 0 clock, listening to the band and a friend of Paul`s just walked past me, took my hand and gave me a peck on the cheek, saying you ok?? Well that started me off!!! Daughter was quite concerned but I went to the ladies, let the tears out and composed myself. Even had a dance.

Ailsa I don`t find a few more drinks makes me cry anymore, my tears last night were after just one or 2.

Well the celebrations carry on today, it`s an open house at the bride and grooms home. Having mixed feelings about going there now, having to chat and be sociable again!! I sound a right miserable *** don`t I lol? but daughter wants to go so we`ll probably pop in later this afternoon.

Ailsa good luck with the decorating.

Lynne have a lovely day if you can, weather`s looking good. Hope everyone else has a good day xxx


Helen

lynne

Lots of good wishes coming your way today
sue x

Hi All just waiting for everyone to get here , Helen i'm glad you survived it , isn't it lucky we have grown up children to help us out in these situations , i'm usually like you fine (or pretend to be )untill someone asks me , that happened a couple of weeks ago , i was fine then my son said "you ok mum" well that was it , but i supose if they didn't ask we'd wonder why . Interflora have just delivered a massive bunch of flowers , 6 balloons and chock for me (hands of Kaz ) from his daughter in Afghan , i cant wait to take them up .I've been trying to keep busy all day , i've cleared the garage and shed out , i've got everything out for the bbq , just need that sun to keep shining now ..
Thanks for good wishes Sue and everybody else , i hope your all haveing a good day , i supose Kev will be at footie wont he .

Speak later

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I`m being a bit wobbly again!!! Not sure if I want to go to this `house do` this affy. It just seems so much harder without Paul so sat having a weep while daughter gets ready, she really wants to go!

Feel like curling up on the couch but suppose I`ll have to go and get ready myself. Just feel emotional and worried about crying there with a few people I don`t really know xxx

That was lovely from his daughter Lynne, all helps a little bit

Helen xxx