My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

sorry girls -- gremlins in the computer today -- meant to say hugs to all this lovely group -- found xmas very hard -- the only saving grace was the busy bee g/son who has been staying since boxing day -- he had a toy kitchen as he's forever in the kitchen wanting to help !!!! he's been so comocal with his toy but still wants to help nanny -- great + I've had loads of hugs as well -- now proper (((( HUGS)))) to u all + yes we'll snuggle in + link flippers as we wait + see what 2011 will bring  xx lynda

Well done Becky......for surviving Christmas (which is all we can do).........for making a 'real' custard (something I've never attempted).........for trying very hard to stay afloat and swim a little ( I think I'm drowning)..........

Sending you love and lots of comforting ((((((((((hugs)))))))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes indeed well done to all.

Oh so many memories for you Becky for new years eve, hard I`m sure but try and remember the good times. Best wishes.

Kxx

Dot just wanted to pop on and send you a big huge hug.  Life must be very hard for you at the moment and wish I could say or do more (((()))).  I know that when we lost a few people to cancer during Wully's illness he found it very hard to cope with so I can understand Alan's moods.  And my way of dealing with sadness is showing it with anger and moodiness also.  Not much comfort to you when you just need a little understanding.  You are in my thoughts xxx

Well done Becky for surviving Christmas and to all you other penguins.  We are all really struggling at the moment but at least this time next week it will all be over.  I can't wait.  I am going out on Hogmany.  Wully and I always sat in together as we had the kids and then later on he was ill so it will be hard as every year we had a few tears and wondered if that would be his last (he was ill for 4 years).  Hopefully the party at the pub will be too busy with people to talk to that I won't have time for my thoughts to consume me and I will be able to keep the tears until I get home.

Take care penguins

Gayle xxxxx

Oh Gayle bless you and thank you for the (((hug))) - it would be lovely for us all to live just round the corner from one another to have regular ((group hugs)).........

Well done to you for venturing out to a party tomorrow night...and does it matter if there are tears.......everyone sheds a few at New Year.  It's definitely a time for thinking of loved ones....whether they are still here or not as the case may be..........But it also a time for revolutions - oops I mean resolutions - a time to look forward to new beginnings.............

So to start the resolution ball rolling I am going to pass my driving test this year......eat healthier......and be fitter..........and  to raise more money for my favourite charities.............

Best foot forward girls.......onwards and upeards............

Love and ((((bug higs)))) to give us all confidence to make a new start

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Well thats Christmas well and truly over.  Next obstacle is NYE.  It will be the first NYE I have not celebrated for many many years.  But do not feel I have anything to celebrate at the moment.  So will have early night and hope I can sleep through it.  Isn't life a bitch.

Have been shopping, as retail therapy usually helps.  But does not seem to be working this time.  But I know that only time can heal the wounds.  Because only one person can heal me here and now and that can never be. Oh I miss him so much. 

I keep thinking back to this time last year when Martin must have had the dreaded C but did not know.  He was having trouble with indigestion, but who would have thought what the next few months would bring.  He was not actually diagnosed until end of April, but how quickly the tumour grew, he must have had it much earlier.  I had him till September, only five short months. Been a tearful afternoon,but that is only natural. I suppose there will be a lot of --this time last year--'s. When will it ever end.

I know that a lot of you pengiuns are having as bad a time at the moment and just wish you strength to see things through.  Let us join flippers and give each other as many hugs as we can.  Let the Baileys flow and the lifeboats be in abundance.

Love and lots of ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

I'm sitting here trying to think of something good to say to you all, something wise and wonderful to lift the spirits and inspire - best I can come up with is, the Baileys are on me, who's first?  (Patricia I have a WONDERFUL non alcoholic cocktail chilling in the fridge and your glass is ready).  I have always disliked NYE and don't feel any different now, but I can understand how it will be hard for many of you that have always celebrated one way and another, maybe a time for reflection on all the lovely New Year's Eve's you have shared, yes there will be tears but our spirit people will be beside us, holding on tight and raising yet another glass.  (They don't stop drinking up there either, the bar's always open!) 

So I shall leave you all with hugs (Dottee my love we all have you in a special place in the huddle, you have always been there for us and you need lots of coddling now xxxxx), the lifeboats have been launched, they are all joined together with special sparkly ropes and little twinkly lights, there is food and drink a plenty for our own penguin party, cushions on the seats, quite snuggly corners when you just want to sit and watch or listen to the conversation and hugs are available at ALL times, you don't even need to ask.

Night night my lovelies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh dear Rosemary

You've gone and done it again.........smiles and tears all at the same time.  I feel really honoured that you think I need so much 'coddling'.....I'm used to being the 'capable one'....the 'get up and doing one'.........and find it hard to just sit feeling so miserable.  But that is what I've done - what with my cold and the crumby weather - I haven't dared to mingle with the masses for fear of spreading too many germs!!!!  Don't want to be accused of being a one-woman germ spreading machine!!!!!  Never mind I think the end (of my cold) may be in sight and I will be soon be able to get out again for a good long walk.......

Thank you but I'll pass on the Baileys and will settle instead for a hot toddy - just to make sure that all the bugs are gone.........

Best wishes to one and all for a better 2011.......

Love and ((((hugs)))) to everyone

Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Evening ladies and big hugs xxxx

Dottee I remember so well after my mum died the number of times I lifted the phone to tell her `my news` then cried when I couldnt. The hot line to heaven was constantly busy as I still chattered my news to her!! xxx So so hard xxx

Rosemary, kids who d have them!!! Liam has come home in a whirlwind, left the house a tip and gone off again until Monday with his girlfriends family. It is definitely a boy thing!! Nat checks on me and what I ve got planned all the time!! Still goes of out lol but checks on me first he he!!

We had a lovely time at the wedding on Tuesday, I got a mention in the speech thanking me for helping to make the bride into the lovely young woman she is today. I  m Big H in their family as the little girl I looked after was also Helen!! Had a few tears at the vows and speeches, didnt expect it to be hard but it was at times. Had a great time though.

Anyway the Baileys here is the caramel one, bit sweet but thought I d try it so cant waste it now!!! Cheers everyone and will be thinking of each and every one of you as 2010 leaves us and we go into another year xxxx Making myself cry now lol!!! Will just say for the last time this year.................................just keep swimming penguins!!! We can do this xxxxx