My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

I too am very sorry to hear you have lost your husband.

I wish you strength and a ((((Big Hug))))

K

I'm glad I decided just to have 5 mins on the computer before I do anything else.  Clare I am so sorry to hear about your husband.  You are so welcome here.  This is such early days for you but I amsure you will find some comfort from all the lovely people here.  Take care everyone xxx

Merry Christmas everyone xxx Just keep swimming xxxx

Clare so sorry to hear about your husband, extra hugs for you today.

Hugs to everyone xxxxx

Really wish things were different for us all .... hope everyone gets through today ok.  Thinking about you all.

Clare, sorry to hear your sad loss .... xxx 

Clare so sorry to hear of you loss, you are among friends here. I have struggled through the day I thought if I went to work I would be able to keep busy, I was wrong (again) it has been very quiet here noone wants to come and see the Dr on Christmas day. we are expecting it to get busy but I finish at 7 and have to paint on a smile and go for dinner at my daughters. I really want to go home and curl up in bed with a book.

Love to all penguins

Teri x

Hi everyone.  I hope everyone is doing okay.  We had a lovely time at my daughters for dinner yesterday.  She did ever so well entertaining 8 of us from 10 to 73.  I have been thinking about you all this weekend and wandering how you are doing.  I was too close to a railway track to let off a sky lantern yesterday so I lit a candle at 6pm and thought of us all and our loved ones.  I seem to have spent a lot more of this Christmas on my own than last Christmas.  In some ways that has been good as I think last year I sometimes craved a chance to run off and cry and no one would let me.  I came home from becky's at lunchtime today and have been able to have time with my own thoughts this afternoon.  It is definately different to last year when I was like a rabbit in headlights.  I have been a lot more reflective and sometimes sad this year.  I have spent some time thinking about what 2011 might have in store for me.  I want there to be something but I have no idea what.  I am going to have a bit more me time next year and try to figure out how to relax in my home.

Well - I hope you are all okay.  Becky & I are going to tackle the sales a la Meadowhell tomorrow so wish us luck.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Thank you for all the text messages. So sorry that I didn't reply to them all but I was thinking of you all. Had a busy day yesterday entertaining the family. Everything went very well. Set off the sky lanterns in the evening in memory of mum and Ray and a few other people. Having worked the night before and having no sleep, I was exhausted by the end of the day and slept well. Today I called to see bro-in-law and was ordered to stay for dinner. So 4 hours later after good food and good company I made my exit. Tomorrow I shall be joining son and his partner at their house for dinner as her parents are also going to be there. (Big surprise being invited).

Eldest son and his wife are still waiting patiently for the arrival of their baby (due new years eve).

Hope you are all doing ok.

Claire, sorry for your deep sadness, may God and his angels keep ypou safe and help you through this difficult days.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Hi Penguins, sorry to hear of your loss Claire as everyone else says a day at a time. Well I hope everybody enjoyed there Xmas the best they could. I had a lovely day with Kim G Charlie and Darren, my dad was not well enough to come so had to keep running up and down to him. Let our sky lanterns off at six, very emotional for us all but Kim broke the ice when she said Dad would have loved them. Yesterday was a bit different for me as I was very down so took myself off to cemmie for awhile. Back to work for me tomorrow as sale starts. Sending big hugs to you all. Fiona xxx

Morning everyone. Glad we all got through Christmas Day xxx

I had my lanterns ready as last year it helped us all get through our first christmas without Paul and think of him as the lanterns floated upwards. We went to Pauls grave in the afternoon after our dinner and had a very emotional few moments as a family. Liam was very emotional to visit his Dad xxx By the time 6pm came we were all busy on the wii fit and there didnt seem a need to spoil that. I did think about you all and felt quite content to have a few minutes thinking about Paul watching my son and daughter enjoying themselves. I am surprised but felt content with my thoughts, the lanterns are there for another occasion and Paul will be always be very loved and missed xxxxxxx

Ailsa I also had some of yesterday to myself and actually wanted it!! I still also need to learn to relax in my own home and company. This holiday has been so busy with driving down to Heathrow to pick Liam up and today we re off to North Yorkshire for a wedding tomorrow. Back Wednesday then back to work Thursday. I am spending New Years Eve with G which I am looking forward to as I havent seem him all over christmas with him working.

Lets hope 2011 brings us all some peace and contentment xxxxx

Lots of love Helen xxxxx

Hi all my lovely penguins, am just writing a quick note and have not had time to read all the postings over CHristmas.  I will look later tonight.

I have been staying with my daughter over the Christmas and have now hurried home as it is my turn to have them back to mine.  Have not done a proper dinner since I lost Martin so this is going to be strange.  Wish me luck as I get through this day.  I think it will be harder than it has been over Christmas.  The last two days went better than I thought they would.  I just let it all wash over me and that was good. Now I am having to lay the Christmas table, something Martin always did, he also made the gravy which everyone loved so have something to live up to.  But I will let the Baileys flow and get through it one way or another and then I can get back to my life as it has been without Martin. The new normal I believe.

So I hope you all got through the last two days and are not feeling too bad.

When I am sitting here on my own later tonight I will read all the posts and have some time to myself.  don't know if that will be good or bad.

But lots of penguin ((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you all.

Be strong and keep swimming

Pam xx