My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi all

Lynda, I was ill pretty much all of last winter, constant colds, virus, whatever I got it and was not well for months.  The doctor told me I was run down but I think it is a result of grief, it is so exhausting as well and I was not taking proper care of myself.  I am trying to eat well but it is still difficult to cook for just me and most days I can't be bothered so I try to cook lots on the weekend and freeze for during the week.  Just try to pamper yourself a little and go easy on yourself right now.   Manda, I am glad to hear from you.  I can understand where you are right now and also am sending huge penguin hugs to you.

I am off to work again tomorrow, seems like I must go in on Sundays just to keep up, I will have another half time assistant but the School Board does not rush into hiring people.  I can get so much more done when no one is around to interrupt so I will only stay a few hours but hope to get myself organized better for Monday morning.

I am going to a funeral on Monday afternoon, my friend's SIL passed away very suddenly last week and this is my first since Dan.  So I will be sitting on the aisle so that I can run out if need be. 

Patricia, I love your picture on FB, you look like you were having such a good time. 

hugs

Bren

Thanks for sharing your experiences Bren + for the advice Patricia -- I try + eat fairly healthily + excercise but sleep doesnt come easily -- have tried lots of things as I dont want to go down the pill road -- maybe I will get back into the sleep habit -- lost the plot when I was nursing Cyril + it was only at the very end I had a marie curie nurse -- drop off ok but wake in the early hours + cant get back -- fingers x it will all come right -- love + hugs to everyone hope the meet went well xx lynda

Hi everyone.  We have ben having a great time here in Sunny Glasgow this weekend.  The JE was good but maybe a bit over-priced for what it was.  The excuse to meet with Judi, Fiona, Teri & Gayle was well worth it though.  The weather has been brill but I have already had a phone call to say it will change tomorrow and the ferry to Bute may not sail.  That will mess up my plans a bit but I have a back-up plan and will just swop some of the visiting round then try for Bute again on Tuesday.  Judi, Teri, Gayle & Fiona are all looking really well.  We have eaten far too much (and probably drunk far too much as well!!).  I've done a bit of retail therapy and bought got myself a nice purple trenchcoat as a 'souvenier' of Glasgow!  I'm going to go to bed a little earlier tonight (1am this morning - that lot are such a bad influence!)

Sue - I would have done the shopping instead of the veg peeling - good choice.  How is your foot?  You would make a good pair with Teri - who seems to stumble every pair of rails!!  I hope you had a good time at highgrove House on Friday.

Helen I hope you have a great time in Blackpool with G next weekend.

Manda it is lovely to hear from you.  So long as you are looking in ad know you can speak to us here whenever you need to that is okay.  Take care of yourself.

Lynda, Bren & Patricia are giving you sound advice for your health but I have to agree that being ill is almost part of the process after everything that we have been through.  I hope the sleeping gets beter very soon for you.

Bren - seems harsh you having to go into work on Sunday but if it helps to lessen the work load then it is something I have done in past as it is much easier to get things done when it is quiet.  Take care.

That goes for everyone else as well.  I hope you have all had a decent weekend.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Evening, all

well, Ailsa, you seem to have had a great time - love the sound of the souvenir , that's my kind of shopping. On top of that to meet with the girls must have been fab - so glad to hear that it went well. I am SO excited, because tomorrow I'm going to meet up with our lovely huggy lady Dot  and her equally lovely husband Alan. They are on holiday in the area and they're going to come to my house then we're going out to lunch.  can't wait.

i had a smashing day at Highgrove house; there were 25 of us , and we had a guided tour of the amazing gardens. Then coffee and cake followed by a spot of retail therapy in the gift shop. it was a great day out; security was very tight, we had to take passports for ID and then stay in our cars until we were fetched by a guide. The tour took us right up to the house itself. The gardens are just beautiful, without a single manicured flowerbed in sight, and my foot behaved itself and I didn't fall over once!  Lynne and Teri would have been proud of me! the one thing which shone through was how highly the staff regard Prince Charles  - they all spoke of him so warmly and with genuine affection. A really good day.

Hope everyone has a good week - am liking this redundancy business! Anyone want to buy an alarm clock??

sue xx

Morning all , just a quick one to say how much i've missed you all . Ive tried to have a quick catch up , Royalty Sue ! i expect nothing else from you lol , glad you had a good day .. i didn;t get in till 1 30 this morning , start work at ten but want to take flowers to the church yard and see dad before i start so just a big wave and a hug form me for now .. I'll look forward to catching up later ..

Take care my lovely friends Lynne xxxxxx

 ps Glad you've all had a good weekend in Gl;asgow , bring on london now xxxx

Yay welcome back Lynne.  Hope you are all nice and relaxed and tanned.  The weather here today is terrible.  I hope Ailsa's ferry wasn't cancelled for visiting family.  I had a lovely time on Saturday meeting up with fellow penguins (pity I missed Fiona) and it was great to catch up.  The boys stayed with Wully's niece on Saturday and had a fantastic time.  I was really pleased as I know it would have meant a lot to him as he was very much into families and for me to keep the links up with his family.  They were spoilt rotten and loved it although Jamie lost his first tooth.  He looks so funny with the gap and the one beside it is wobbling too so he is going to be left with an even bigger gap on the bottom.  I am feeling a lot better and got a lot of stuff sorted yesterday with bf so feeling a lot calmer and a lot happier.  I have another busy week as usual though.  I am supposed to be signing for my new house tomorrow and hopefully get the keys next Friday so need to get my act in gear for moving.  Plus its my birthday this week so I am doing lunch lol and then going to go out for dinner with the boys then of course celebrate at the pub at the weekend.  Anyway, take care penguins. 

Gayle xxx

hi, Gayle

So glad you're feeling a bit calmer today - talking helps! How lovely that the boys so enjoyed staying with family at the weekend - it gives you all a break, and you can relax a bit knowing that they are happy and being spoiled.

I had a major treat today - a visit from our very own Dottee and her very own Alan.  They are staying in this neck of the woods, and Dot texted last night. They came here for coffee, then we went to a local pub for lunch.  Dot is every bit as lovely and huggy in the flesh as she is in cyberspace, and I feel very privileged to have met her.

welcome back, Lynne - we've missed you. Hope dad is doing as well as he can be.

Love and hugs to you all

sue xx

Hello all you travellers both UK and beyond!  Glad you have all had a good time - Sue Highgrove sounds lovely, what a super day you had and then you got to meet Dot and Alan (no photo's??) that's really nice.  Good to have you back Lynne!  Hope Ailsa is managing her travels alright, looking at the forecast there is some bad weather up north, I think you should all migrate down to me for the winter.  Lynda hope you start feeling better soon, try acupuncture and/or reflexology, or an Indian Head Massage, (although that might make it worse before it gets better as it 'brings things out'), you need to boost your energies and rebalance your emotions, nothing will take it all away but those things might help you fight off the illnesses.

Been a bit hectic and hard work here of late, with a lot of emotional stuff going on too. Both the kids have ended up being the cause of a lot of the stress and thankfully we have more or less sorted it between us although I can't see Daniel ever really understanding how he keeps hurting me in various ways, but then he is and always will be a boy bless him.  Father in law has at last, only today, got the epidural in place and working and finally has some relief from the pain of the spinal compression - it's only taken them four weeks!  If all goes well I hope that I will be making it to London and then, fingers crossed, Glasgow too, but I will take it a step at a time.  Sadly for sis in law it means she won't be going back to the States for quite a while but it does mean I might be able to get away those weekends without feeling I need to be on hand. Got to meet some of you penguins soon! xxxxx

Evening All, hope everyone doing ok. Nice to have you back with us Lynne. Well I spent a lovely day with Ailsa Judi and Terri. I feel the same as Ailsa I enjoyed listening to JE but a bit over priced. Ailsa I hope you managed your ferry today mind you our weather been really bad today. Gayle sorry I missed you at the weekend. Glad you feeling a bit better now. Had Charlie for yea tonight as missed seeing him yesterday. Helen enjoy your weekend at Blackpool. Well sending you all big hugs think it's bedtime for me. X x x x

Jsut the quickest of the quick as I need to start work in about 2 minutes!  Just wanted to say how wonderful it was to catch up with Ailsa, Fiona and Gayle and lovely to meet Teri.  They all looked fantastic and we had a super time .... apart from the dreaded photos!

Lynne, so glad you are homw hun - hope your dad is doing ok.  Lynda, make sure you look after yourself - as Bren said I think a lot of us seemed to be 'under the weather' for some time - fingers crossed you will start to feel healthier for longer stretches soon. 

Sue - how terribly terribly posh are you????? Royalty amongst us!!!  And the best bit was getting to meet Dottee I bet.   Special hugs for my chum Rosemary - I think if I adopt you and you adopt me then we can bask in the delight of having at least one offspring each that causes us no grief!  Sound like a plan?

Loads of love to everyone else.  Judes xxxx