My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
happy new year to everyone on our thread-
let's go on together, and take our memories with us and our loved ones alive in our hearts.
sue xx
Cheers everyone!! I am expecting visitors soon and don't want to be rude either so posting again will have to wait until they have gone. Will pop on again before bed when the deed is done and we have all survived. Hope work goes okay tonight Patricia - poor you but it is a distraction. Dave - I am sure the little children make Christmas more daunting for you so enjoy tonight off.
I hope for us all to have a peaceful and pleasant evening whatever way we have chosen to do that. I will be setting off sky candles later if it stays as dry as now. Thank you all for being there and helping me through this year. Lets see what 2010 brings for us all. Bug higs to you all ((((((xxxxxx)))))) Ailsa
Oh how annoying, just written a long post, clicked something and it all vanished grrrr.
Helen, glad you had a good time and are back in time for new year with your friends.
Fiona, try not to be too sad when Darren goes off on his adventure, he must be very confident to be able to do this and that means you and his dad have done an excellent job at bringing him up. He will keep you smiling with all of his tales!
I am going to watch the soaps then head of to bed, I have no wish to see the new year in alone.
Good luck to all of you who are venturing out, I hope you manage to have a good night. To those staying in, I hope you will be able to get through it without too much sadness.
Here is hoping to a brighter, peace filled new year. Let's hope that we all manage to find some happiness.
Thinking of you all my friends xxxxxx
Hello ladies and Dave,
Well just popping on to wish all my very dear friends a very happy 2010. We can do this all together and we will have a good year - we have too - we owe it to our husbands (and wife) as they wanted so much to be here and wanted us to be happy.
I will certainly be raising a glass to all of us and our loved ones. Cheers!
Gayle xxx
Hello Everyone
Well, it's here - no matter how much we don't want it! Have had enought his last week with xmas and boxing day, Miles' birthday, Hayley passing out and frightening me senseless... We are staying in tonight with a chinese and a bottle of wine and going to be early. Everyone has tried to convince us to go out or go to them and stay over, but just want to get it out of the way really...
So, I'll just say that I hope you all have whatever kind of evening you are hoping for, and that 2010 brings us all some peace. Thank you all for the many kind words of support over the last couple of months, it means so much to know that you are all here.
Much love, Manda xx
Some very wise words from you all, tonight finds me unable to put down how I feel or find anything inspirational to say to you all, just sending you all my love and together we are stronger and can cope. Lets do them proud and go forward into 2010, closing a door on the awful 2009 but never ever closing a door on our dear loved ones. Wishing you all a happy new year (note no capital letters so it means the whole year not just this darned evening), love and hugs to you and the biggest most secure huddle that can be arranged.
PS I adopted a cuddly penguin tonight, he was sitting on the checkout in the Co-op so I had to buy him, his name's "Mac"
i echo your sentiments, rosemary.
love the penguin called Mac.
Sue xx
Evening everyone,
Just wanted to wish you all a very happy 2010, whith much love and peace.
Thinking of you all. Will raise a glass with you all and to our loved ones, got a nice cold pear bulmers, cheers.
Love and ((((((HUGS))))))))
Quill xxxxx
Hi guys
At midnight I will be lighting the sky candles I was planning to take down to mum and dad's, and will think of each and everyone of you. I hope you have the night you wish, and thanks again for everything.
Judi xx
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