My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
my dear Dot
Thank you for your good wishes. i hope that the new year will bring painfree days to Alan, and peace and everything good to you both.
xx
You're welcome Sue - and thanks for the flowers they are lovely as always..............xxxxxx
Hello everyone,
Just a quick one to say that I am still here and keeping up with you all. Not been very well past couple of days (think I will stick to the pot noodles in future) but feeling a bit better today. No plans for the rest of the week and definitely early to bed tomorrow or will probably torture myself and sit up for the bells on my own with a little drink and a cry. Who knows what tomorrow brings in the emotional rollercoaster. Jamie was crying for his daddy today which was horrible as he hasn't done it for so long.
Thinking of you all. Hope you had a good party today Dave.
Gayle xx
Hi,Lynne
How are you tonight/
Have been thinking of you today
Sue xx
yes, i know what you mean!!!
yes, I was Ok thanks - the church was full, and there were about 12 of us from our ladies' group there together- a huge support group, we do the pub quizzes together and go for lunch etc (except that i'm usually at work!!)
Rowena wrote her own service for her funeral, chose the hymns, prayers, readings, song, etc - what a brave lady. ironicaly she was given the all clear from breast cancer at the end of November, and by the end of the first week in december it had returned in her bones and she died a week before christmas. Bugger, eh?
Good night, Lynne and all my friends here
Sue xx
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