My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
dear esme
Thank you for my gazebo - better than this minging weather!!
Mmm Lynne, that's another one of the many, many things I miss, someone to make me a coffee! So yes I would love coffee, one sugar and you may even add a drop of Tia Maria! x
Ha, ha love it. Was beginning to feel a little down again, just sitting here alone, listening to wind howling down the chimney but you have made me smile. )))))))))
Wish I could get warm, have central heating on full, am seriously considering watching TV in bed with electric blanket on!
do whatever you want to do, Lesley!
Been out for lunch today with my mother and my two lovely girlies, then a bit of retail therapy. Going to helen's tomorrow to see her new kitchen, then cooking roast beef for tea. Not much planned for friday, but some shopping on Saturday then taking mother back to Cornwall Sunday, back to work Monday.
We will get to next year safely, girls and boys - just hang on in there.
Evening girls - where has the time gone??? Back to work Monday Sue??? Well same for me too...............but I'm sure I've lost a week somewhere!!!!! I was convinced that I could carry on lounging around for another week!!!!! Heyho!!! Time flies when you're having 'fun'......ummmm - doesn't it????? I know that the past few days have not been much fun for many of you and I wish with all my heart that I could do something to help make things better for you all.............But the new year is just around the corner and needs positive thoughts to welcome it in!!! So my wish for you all is that you will find peace and at least a small amount of happiness in whatever 2010 brings to your door .............Sue, Ailsa, Lynne, Patricia, Helen, Rosemary, Lesley............Oh!! and Dave and boys and also anyone that calls by here ............my thoughts will be with you all tomorrow night - I will raise a glass of something to you and send love and ((((((((((((((((bug higs)))))))))))))) to comfort you all
Dot xxxxxxxxxxx
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