My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Evening Everyone,  Bed sounds a good option for me on New Years Eve, i think i am finding it harder this year as last year we were all so numb to me and Kim and Darren, it seem to pass and we had not noticed but this year seems a lot worse so don't know how i will feel. But just like you all i will take Derek in to 2010 with me and try to remember all the happy memories we had together. We have sleet falling tonight again so hope snow doesn't return as just getting away from the last time. My Niece who is just 12yrs is doing the dee dip on new years morning to raise funds for the hospice Derek was in, so i hope it's not too cold for her. It's making me cold thinking about it. Well i am off to bed as working in the morning, Luv and Hugs to you all. Fiona xxxx

P S Enjoyed our wee chat on facebook Lynne. xxxxx

you are quite right judy i did put wrong month but 27th march is when my son gets married.  I cannot do the 27th Feb though but don't worry onb my account I will wish you all a happy meet up.

Good morning everyone.  As often happens morning brings a little more positivity.  I can't say how glad I am to have you all here on this site to help me see that what I am feeling is so 'normal'.  When I get home from work today I am going to go and see my neighbour and tell her that I really am not up to going out on new years eve even for an hour.  Like you Lynne - I cannot face all those 'happy new yearers'.  I spoke to my mum & dad when I was feeling so bad last night and I am confident they understand and just want to be near me in case I need them.  I think my neighbour means well but thinks that the more we do on Thursday the easier it will be for me.  I will let her down gently today.

Judi - I am almost glad the weather has been so bad where you were headed as there can now be no doubt in your mind that you made the right decision not to set off.  Once again Boy sounds so lovely.

Lynne I will be thinking about you today - are you working?  If you are I hope that helps this day to pass easier if you are occupied and busy xxx

I hope everyone else is doing okay today.  I don't like to be a gloomy as I was last night but hopefully it has passed now.  I think you have the right idea as well Fiona - go to bed and let 2010 slip in quietly and lets see how it pans out.  You too Sue.  I don't think I have to go to work for as long as yesterday so I will pop on again later.  Take care everyone xxx

Morning Ailsa , thank you for that xxxx ,and i'm sure your neighbour will understand xx i am at work at 10 so i'll go to the cemmy this morning with more flowers even tho i know they wont last and its pouring down with rain , i wont stay long just enough time to tell him how much i love and miss him . i was also talking to step daughter on face book last night and  she hadn't realised it was 6 months so i'm thinking , is it only me that realises ??? I enjoyed our chat to Fiona and i hope you remember that kiss for little Charlie . xx

Well i dont feel as bad as sunday , and i think you other ladies that have hit the 6 month  day have all said that the build up is usually worse than the actual day so i'm hoping thats the case too . Take care to all my other penguins and thank you for all the support over the last 6 months

 Lynnexxxxx

take care, lynne

thinking of you today

Sue xx

Thanks Sue , it helps to know your all there for me , i'm not wanting to go to work at the min but i know its the best thing if i do xxxxxx

It will make the day pass more quickly, Lynne; I worked the 6 monther,  and it helped.

Peeing down with rain here; i'm off to a funeral of a friend today - died of cancer just before Christmas.

Sue xx

Yes i'll go Sue , thats what i was thinking , off to the cemmy now , hope today isn't to bad for you either , speak soon xxxxx

Good morning all, although not sure what is good about it, the weather is dreadful. Hugs to all you ladies who are wobbling just now. Like Fiona I will be in bed early on New Years Eve. I think I am just going to try to treat the next to days as any other ordinary days. Rachel is due anytime now, so is not up to doing anything. Son lives in America. My mum has said I can go round to her house if I want, but don't really feel like being away from home. So I guess it will be just me and my mad kitten!

Have felt fairly positive for the last couple of days, so that might help. The best thing all round would be if Rachel actually gives birth on her due date. Jan' 1st, that would take care of NY plans!

Well I was supposed to be going out for lunch today with my friend and her baby and then to watch a panto but she has just rung to cancel as she has flu. Don't really feel like doing anything that involves me going outside, it is sleeting and very very windy but can't stay indoors alone all day either. So I think I will just have to wrap up and brave the elements.

Hope you all have a reasonable day.

Oh, and welcome to Cary, there are no words I can say that will make you feel better but I hope you know there are so many kind people on here who will be thinking of you and your hubbie. x

Just a quickie as a friend is coming round for dinner tonight so have to get things ready I guess.  Thinking of you all and sending big hugs, especially you Lynne hope your day has gone better than you expected.  I don't think unless people are very close they are aware of the passing days and months so much, although sometimes they don't know what to say either so avoid referring to things.  No-one can understand unless they have been where we are now, they don't mean to be insensitive but they are still in the outside world where life carries on as normal.

Will try and get back later to catch up with you all but in the meantime have built a bug gazebo for the penguin huddle to shelter under, this weather is just minging! xxxxxx