My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

oh yes we can!!!

http://www3.truprint.co.uk/slideshow/AlbumID=2366591006/PictureID=102600557006/a=107107937_107107937/otsc=SHR/otsi=SPIClink/COBRAND_NAME=truprint/

Just to cheer you all up !!

My first proper smile of the day .Thanks Sue xxxxxx

http://www3.truprint.co.uk/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=2366591006/a=107107937_107107937/otsc=SHR/otsi=SALBlink/COBRAND_NAME=truprint/

Lynne - this is for you!!!

Wow there great Sue , you must be very proud xxxx.

 I'm going to bed now in the hope that tommorow is another day and hopfully things will look different xxThank you to you all for not letting me fall off the ledge and huddling me to the middle , i'm very very gratefull xxxxxx

Love and (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to all........The new year will soon be here..............so best wishes and high hopes of a better time to come...........Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good morning everyone.  Sorry I didn't get on yesterday - had visitors and also Declan went off to his Dad's so I won't see him for a while - wanted to make the most of the last of the time.

Helen - hope you enjoyed the x factor.  How are you today Lynne - staying firmly in the centre of the huddle I hope.  Sue - your photos are lovely - they are so pretty.  I was wandering how Gayle & Dave are bearing up with their little one's.  I feel very deflated now and if that is the same for everyone it must be doubly difficult when you need to stay upbeat for small children.  You are both doing such a good job so I wish lots more energy for you to help you through the New Year as well.

Becky & I are having a slow start today - bit of a pamper this morning then off to my Mum & Dad's this afternoon to see my brother and his family and have more food!  Becky is going home today as well so I am enjoying these last few hours with her.

I hope you got your car back okay Judi.  Have you made plans for when you will set your lanterns off yet Esme?  I am going to do another on New Years eve.  I hope tea with your Dad went well Fiona.  Lesley - I still keep hoping for news about the baby everytime I come on!  hello too to Patricia - it is very difficult trying to catch up on posts when we miss even a day so good luck with that one Patricia!  Hi to Dot & Quill & Bren & Jaquie & Manda - I hope you are all doing okay today.  Using Lynne's very wise quote - "we can & we will" get through New Year next.

Take care everyone.  Ailsa xx

Hi All

Well thats Christmas over,its been up and down really.

Christmas eve was really hard, opening the boys pressies christmas morning,and releasing the sky candles were really emotional.

But on the other hand the children do keep your spirits up as well.

My mum was supposed to go to my sisters in Holland,but due to the weather couldnt make it.I know its selfish but im happy she was here as I wouldnt have had much help with the kids.

So i managed to get to see the footie at Southampton on boxing day and took George with me .It broke the christmas period up well.

Anyway just new year to deal with now.Me and Nic didnt really go out new years eve just atakeaway normally.

I will be happier when 2010 comes "I think",who knows though

I hope you all had as good a christmas as possible.

Thanks Dave xxx

Hello all

I have had a bad couple of days, sounds like most of us have had a wobble. I suppose we have all concentrated so much on getting through Christmas and now the realisation is setting in for me that January is just around the corner. Long, cold, dark days ahead. However, I do feel a little more positive today somehow. I don't seem to feel so bad if I see someone I care about at least once in the day, even if it is only for a quick cuppa. It is when I go for days without seeing anyone that I feel full of self pity. It just gets so lonely.

Well still no news on the baby front. Rachel is 39+3 now, so it surely can't be far off baby day. I don't want to pin all my hopes on my new grandchild, a baby won't replace my Colin but I hope it will give me more reason for living, as sometimes I must confess, I feel I no longer want to be around.

I suppose we will all have to look forward to 2010, I wonder what it will bring for each of us. Will we still be posting on here this time next year and if so how will our lives have changed?

I think you lot have kept me sane these last few weeks, everytime I think something weird, someone seems to post the exact same thought, then I know I'm not going mad, it must be normal to think the way I am thinking! Today I was thinking I feel like I will be leaving Colin behind when we move into 2010, then someone blogged the exact same thought.

What is everyone up to for New Year? Colin and I never did anything really, he often had to work on New Years Day. I can't make any plans really because I might be needed in the labour room! Otherwise I think a quite night in with a glass or two of vino.

Hope you are all OK this afternoon, love Lesley x

Hi everyone

Sue the pics are lovely. We can do it.....yes we can!!!

Gayle hope you`re feeling better today, I`ve been there the day after too many wines, don`t beat yourself up. I know I did and you feel even lower, bug higs xxx

Lynne how are you doing?? Thinking about you lotsxx

Dave glad you`ve mananged Xmas, well done to you xxx

Ailsa I think we all feel bit flat after the event, and exhausted too!!! Just need to get New Year out of the way.

X factor was good, quite a few local acts and Lloyd and Daniel. Daniel was defintely the better artist. Came home and went to local for a couple of ciders with friends!!

I`m just going to do some ironing and pack, me and the kids are off to Portsmouth tomorrow until New Years Eve to stay with brother and his in laws for nephews birthday. Then they go back to St Helena for 12 months in January for the rest of his contract.

Bug higs to everyone

Helen xxx