My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Just a quick message to Lynne. I'm thinking of you and sending hugs and caring thoughts your way  xxxxx Lesley xx

Hi everyone,

Welcome Jacqui and sorry you are here.  I read your profile and found it very heartbreaking - sitting here crying.  I am going through a bit of a bad time and at the moment I am trying to bury my head in the sand and pretend it was all a bad dream but messing up badly.

Had a few drinks last night and ended up drunk alone - very sad I know.  Paying for it today as very sore head and dicky tummy but sure I will survive.  Got to go to the panto tonight with the kids and my family and just don't want to.  Wish I could hide in my bed for about 6 months lol. 

Helen - hope you have a great day - very jealous lol.  Lynne - you can be down all you like here - you know your friends will take care of you.  Hugs to everyone else and thinking of you all, all the time.  You are very special people and I couldn't survive without you all.

Gayle xxx

Gayle, love, no wonder you feel as you do. It's hard for all of us, but to go through all this with two little children, like you and Dave, must make things so much more difficult.  I think we all expended so much energy on getting through the build-up to Christmas and the day itself, that the world has come crashing down on us all like a ton of bricks.

Just move into the middle of the huddle with Lynne and we'll all close ranks around you to keep you safe.

Lots of love and ((((hugs))))))))))

sue xx

not read the posts yet but just wanted to say have a good day if you can. will be back later x x x Love and angel hugs x x  Patricia x x x

Thank you Sue.  Yes struggling a lot with the kids at the moment.  I am trying but keep pushing them away.  I know it will lift and hope they forgive me one day.  They have too much energy and excitement at the moment and I just want to run away.  Luckily they have more toys than "toys r us" at the moment to keep them occupied and my mum and dad spend a lot of quality time with them so they get it there.  Poor Ewan wasn't feeling well this morning and was crying for his gran.  Makes you feel rubbish so I hope this mood lifts and I can go back to be a mum to them soon.  Thank you ladies again for the support.  xxx

Evening ladies and first of all thank you for my messages of support , i decided whist i was feeling so down i would sort through some of Gordons clothes , i figured i couldn't slip down any lower , i was wrong i did and there has been some uncontolable tears today , i'm hoping i'm cried out but probably not , i've got some good sorting out done tho .

Sue thank you for my kick i know its only a gentle one tho , i felt the huddle too .xx

Judi i hope you got your car back safely , i took your advice and took to the sofa for a while with my blanket and watched the documentry 2march of the penguins" did any one else watch it ? I so in admiration of these creatures even more now . xx

Helen i hope you have a fab time at x factor . I was looking at your pictures you took of the releasing of the lanterns and the one with you looking up to the sky after they'd been released the sadness in your face says it all , i can imagine evryone of us had the same look on our faces xx

Fiona , Quill and Lesley thank you too for the hugs , i know youyr having a hard time at the moment Lesley and i hope we can help you too xx

Gayle , it must be so hard trying to deal with the boys grief aswell as your own , and like you said in your text we will have to get this meet organised to vgive us all something to look forward too .xx

Hi to all you other penguins xxxx

Hopefully i'll be back later and say i'm feeling better xx

Take care

Lynne xxxxx

dear lynne,

I think we've all slipped since Christmas; if ~i really think about it, things have always felt very flat after christmas Day, and this year is no exception, only it's worse because after all the hustle and bustle,  we've got time to think, and that doesn't seem to be a very good thing for us at the moment.

We will get there, Lynne.

Sue xx

Yes Sue we will , my husbands mother was very much into Phycology (i think thats the word) and she always used to say " I can and i will "   Gordon used to make me say it all the time if i doubted myself (all the time) so i'm trying to say now "i can and i will get through this " I have to `for him xxxxx

Sending all my penguin friends love and a comforting (((((((((((((bug hig)))))))))))))))))...............I've moved back to the outside to let Lynne, Lesley, Jacqui and all else move into the warmth of the huddle.  None of you needs a 'kick up the rear' how could you think such a thing????  And trust Sue to find a picture to suit!!!!!  Lynne dear girl you can and will get through all that life throws at you - sometimes it just takes a little while longer to get there....................stay huddled for as long as you need to!!!!!!!  Love and more (((((((((hugs))))))))) for you all  Dot xxxxxxxx

Thanks Dottee , i am trying really i am , and Sue's pictures always make me smile , even if i am on `the recieving end of the kick , i can always rely on Sue , bless you all for pulling me through the day xxxxxxx