My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Ah Jacqui so glad you've found your way here , i have been so worried about you , i wouldn't be where i am today if it wasn't for the support of the lovely ladies (and gent) on this thread . Its such early days for you but what ever your feeling come and let us know there is always someone to help . Amanda and Lesley are also very early days so i'm sure they'll be on to offer you support too . Like Sue says we even have a laugh or two (usually at my expense) my nickname on here is now calamity Jane and as we go along it will all become clear the reason for this lol So glad your home Esme , the photos on face book aare great , so sorry the lanterns didn't work out but you will get another chance i'm sure . It really was an emotional evening but so glad we did it . All the photos on Face book are great . Liams birthday photos are great Helen , so glad he enjoyed his day , it cant have been easy for any of you . Hope everybody has had the relaxing day that they wanted .

 Take care

Lynne xxxxx

Good evening to everyone

Welcome to Jaquie, you sound like you have been to hell and back, I wish you peace over the coming weeks. Like others have said there is always someone on here ready to listen if you want to have a rant or share a special memory. So many kind, caring people.

Well done to everyone who managed to let of their candles, the photos and vid' were great.

Esme, I am glad you are back safe from your break, your photos looked lovely too.

Dave well done for getting through the day, I am sure you found it hard going but it is done now, another first out of the way for us all.

I had a wobble on Christmas eve afternoon and was very tearful before Rachel and Dave arrived for the evening, thankfully I picked up when they got here and we had a nice evening together. I went to my mum's for dinner yesterday and then had a quiet night alone at home. Today has been OK too, Rachel and Dave had dinner at mine, I made a full Christmas dinner all by myself, yes I am very proud of myself! Colin used to do most of the cooking, with him being a chef. I am learning new things everyday, just wish I did not have to.

They left about two hours ago and I've just got over a prolonged and self indulgent bout of weeping. I know I should try to be more positive but I'm not looking forward to the long dreary days of January, I sometimes wonder if I will ever feel happy again.

Still no sign of baby, Dave says Rachel was up for hours last night though with Braxton Hicks, so maybe it won't be long now. I am hoping my new grandchild will lift my mood and give me some purpose.

Thanks once again to all my friends on here, especially Manda who usually listens to my daily rants! She has the patience of a saint!!  xx Lesley xx

Good evening everyone.  I have so enjoyed looking at the photos and video of the sky candles.  I fully intend to make it an annual event as well Rosemary.

Welcome Jaquie.  It never feels right to say it like that but I still mean welcome even though I wish with all my heart you didn't need to be here at all.  I read your profile and you have had such a tough time.  Please keep posting to us on here as we get each other through this awful thing one day at a time.  I do not know what I would have done without these wonderful people.

I'm glad you are home safe and sound now Rosemary.  Like everyone else I have had a bit of a lazy day today.  I seem to have been a lot more weepy today than yesterday.  I think I was so very busy yesterday.  Becky, Declan & I have been through to the cemmy again today and took some fresh flowers.  I am back to a busy day tomorrow as I have 2 friends coming round who want to meet Becky.

Just a quick post tonight as Becky is downstairs and I feel a bit rude leaving her alone when she is not here for long.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Morning all well if anyone wants to kick my butt they can , i think i need a big one (kick that is ) i know everybody says the build up to the "6 month " sadaversery is usually worse than the day so i think i'm in that mode , but because its new bloody year and my birthday all within 4 days i think i should just sleep till all 3 are over . i was talking to step daughter last night and i think we depressed each other . So sorry for my negative post , we've got otheres on here like Amanda and Lesley and now Jaqui who are very early days and i should be helping them not feelimg bloody sorry for my self so my butt is waiting for that kick and i know Sue will have a good picture to cover this event , and hopefully i'll be back later after the good kicking in a better frame of mind .

. Hope evrybody has good plans for today xxx

Take care xxxx

 Lynne xxxxx

My dear lynne

'if anyone deserves a 'poor me' moment, it's you - new year, birthday, 6-monther - what a bummer1

however, girlie, we're all here for you and we'll help you pick yourself up and dust yourself down.

make room for lynne in the centre of the huddle,  penguins - she needs us now.

sue xx

Thanks Sue xx

Am here shepherding her right to the middle as we speak Sue.  Lynne darling we all understand completely how these 'events' and anniversaries can knock us for six. 

Last night I received a phone call completely out of the blue from a Mac friend (not from this thread) - the most amazing Kezzerbird, if you haven't read her profile I can recomment it.  She is a bouncer at a nightclub and has 'been through the mill'.  She just phoned to say hi and that she was thinking about me.  I was so touched as she has had enouhg on her plate without thinking about me.  We talked about how the people we had met on this site and the support received was the most genuine, the most understanding and the thing that got us through the darkest days. How true.  Lynne you were the first person to contact me when I joined this huddle, and I will always be greatful for letting me know that I wasn't actually going mad, that I wasn't alone - so now it is your time to be cosseted.  So no 'butt kicking' just now, we will keep that for another day, today, duvets, hot chocolate and a lovely black and white film that you are allowed to weep buckets too.

Today I am venture out to collect my car from where I left it on Christmas day.  It is parked at the end of a cul de sac - however I have a feeling if I don't pick it up before the snow goes people may well be reporting it to the police as an abandoned vehicle, as I am sure it is about six feet from the curb! Hard to tell when you are parking on a mountain of ice!

 Hugs to all.  Judi xx

Morning,
It's beautifull and sunny here today makes a lovely change. Lynne hope that your rear end has recovered after Sue's booting that looked painfull, lots of loving and comforting  (((hugs)))) for you.  Judi hope that you mange to get your car back today, I had to leave mine overnight about a week ago about 4 roads up because of the ice.
Leaving lots of love and ((((HUGS)))) for everyone.
Quill xxxxxxxxxxx

Lynne, I`ll give you a `gentle` kick up the bum!!! 6 months is a tough one without the other dates too xxx You have been so much help to us all, let us help you over this next week or so. Sending you bug higs (((()))))

Yesterday was a quiet one for me too, even fell asleep watching Liverpool lol!!! Family left after a lovely stay, they really helped me through it all. Paul`s mum  and dad watched me like a hawk all day, bless them, they did well too xxx

Love all the photos and video of the sky lanterns, was a lovely part of the day.

Jacqui, sorry you are here but welcome from me too xxx Glad Lynne got you here xxx

Judi good luck with getting the car, all the ice is melting here now, really wet today!!

Ailsa hope you had a good night with Becky and family xx

Esme glad Cornwall was everything you wnated/needed. Hope everything else gets sorted.

I`m going to watch X Factor live this affy, Lloyd and Daniel are singing. Then a few drinkies back at friends.

Love to everyone else... Dave,Sue Lesley, Manda,Gayle, Fiona Quill, Dottee, Patricia..oh I hope I haven`t forgotten anyone!!!

Helen xxx

Hi Lynne, A big Hug from me. Hope everyone else ok, i am having a lazy day, snow getting away here as well today. I am back to work tomorrow sale starts so we will be kept busy for a day or two. Going to my dad's for tea tonight o i will have to diet in the New Year. Luv and Hugs to you all.  Fiona xxxxxxxxx