My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Sorry - didn't work on previous post!

Morning all , well we got throught the day as Sue said , lots of tears but plenty of support , god bless the penguins xxx. To tell you the truth i felt worse this morning after all the kids had gone , today we would normally have gone to my husbands family for a couple of days so felt at a loose end ., the boys  just wanted a pyjama day with the little kids , which i dont blame them at all , yesterday was so hectic , i was just decideing what i could do when my daughter came to the rescue again , they are going out for a couple of hours this afternoon and so i will go with them , i cant see me staying out long tho but at least it will break the day up .. I hope everybody else has good plans for the day .

Take care

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxx

Lynne, well done, my love.

where would we be without our children?

sue xx

Hi everyone,

Glad to see we all got through the day.  Had a few wobbles and a cry when the boys got up and we started opening the presents.  Felt very alone.  Didn't really want to sit at the table for dinner as it was too jolly if you know what I mean but forced myself to do it.  The kids had a great day and loved all their presents and the sky candles went well.  My old uncle was with us and he lost my aunt 1 year before I lost Wully.  He didn't do Christmas last year but he said he had a great day today.  He had quite a few tears too when we set off the lanterns and we both just hugged.  I felt so sorry for him as he is quite old and he was crying and he said to me "we will be okay won't we?".  I said of course we will and that my aunt and Wully would be having a wee dram on us. 

Well just waiting on my visitors leaving then I am going to clean the house and settle down for an early night although the TV has been rubbish.

Dave, hope you are doing okay.  Nearly all over and then we can get back to "normality".  Helen, Ailsa, Sue, Lynne, Judi, Esme, Quill, Dottee, Fiona - thinking of you all my little penguins.

Gayle xxx

Hi Lynne, looking on here as you said has made me feel that I was not alone in my distoyed world, the kids have been great also the grandkids, Carol made a lovely dinner, but I could not eat, i felt lost., came home early just to be alone with my thoughts, went to bed early.

Today stayed in bed as long as poss, did not really want to get up but the dog was starting to get upset as he needed to go out, so up I got put boots on and took him for a walk, we would normaly have everyone today, but kids have inlaws to see, so I think a dose of early spring cleaning is on the cards.

Thanks for your support Lynne, and introducing me to this page, as looking through makes me see that I am not alone in this.

Love and best wishes to everyone

Jacqui xxxx

dear jacqui

Welcome to our huddle - any friend of Lynne's is a friend of ours!

We've all supported one another over the last 8 months or so, especially over the christmas period, so please move in with us -  we even manage to have a few laughs along the way - don't we, lynne!!

Keep on posting

Sue xx

Hi Everyone, Well we have got through xmas, i am just doing some housework today then going to visit my sister and my dad with Darren. Going to Kim's for dinner again as we say thank god for our kids. I have a weepy morning thinking of Darren going away a week on Sat i am going to miss him loads he has never been away before as he never went away to uni or anything. I can just hear Derek saying to me to be happy for him as he is doing something he wants to do. Hope you all have a nice relaxing day. Luv and Hugs to you all.  Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx 

Hi Jacqui,  Just to say i am thinking of you, keep posting on here they are a great bunch of friends and i don't know how i would have got through this last year without them, Fiona xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone

I am not going to even try to reply to posts but just to say that I have read them all and send loads of love.  Jacqui and Bren, hi guys, I am sure that like me you will find this group such amazing support and am so glad that you have found them.

We were able to set off our candles and it was very special.  Boy and I had made the trecherous journey (100yds!) up the road, the ice here is making walking very difficult, and were at a friends house.  It was beautiful, and one of the girls there was particularly taken with them and  asked if she could send hers to her dad, she has sent me a text today to say that it was the lovliest thing she had done since he died - Boy has decided that he would like to make it an annual event, how lovely is that. I found it quite a wonderful experience and was thinking about everyone here as they floated skywards, that must be one of your best ideas ever Sue. 

I will admit that we then went on to have a bit of a party inside and came home at 1am to walk my wonderful mutts, who had been so patient all day.  Boy on the other hand came it at 8am and met me on my way out with the dogs again!!!!  He had decided to kip down at their house at about 4am!!

Lazy day today, have already eaten far too many Lindor chocolates!!  Bit flat, as I am sure most of us are.  However, I am off south to mum and dad's on Wednesday, so will start getting organised soon.

Much love to all, Judi xxx

Hello all, we are home, after planning this for nearly a year it was good to be away and I think helped us all to cope with Christmas without Steve and without having to remember how it was here last year, but then I just wanted to be home, back where all the memories are.  We beat the rain back thank goodness, although I think we have a leak in the flat roof over the porch which I will have to deal with asap, what next? 

Good to see lots of the sky candles took off ok, beautiful pictures Ailsa and lovely video Lynne.  My family managed to get two off for Steve and the in-laws sent theirs, we will try again during the week, not quite the same as planned but I will think of you all and all your loved ones too as we send them.

Jaqui welcome to our thread and the one day to be famous penguin huddle!  I have read through your profile and my heart goes out to you, you must be exhausted from all you have dealt with this year.  The ladies here are lovely and there is always someone with the right words to pick you up when you are down, or even just to be here and listen when it gets too much. 

Dave glad your day went well with the boys, be proud of yourself, I know Nic is watching you and she is very proud of all you have done. 

Good night for now everyone, this penguin is very tired and getting very emotional again, won't go into it but apart from the leak the problems continue to mount.  Ah well tomorrow is another day. xxxxxx