My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    ailsa - I loved that episode of Father Ted!

    so glad we all got through today - well done, champion penguins.

    Sue xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi everyone

    This one day is almost over now, I sent mom in law off to my niece's for the family gathering tonight, I can't face 20 people having a big celebration right now but have been having nice small visits with nephews, brother in laws, friends.  It was tough setting out on the drive but once on the way I was fine.  It was strange staying in a motel all alone, never done that before and it was great to meet Mo along the way.  I am not sure how long I will stay here with Danny's mom, probably most of next week, no rush to get home alone.  I have an aunt and a few cousins to visit at some time too so am keeping fairly busy.  Actually it is nice to have tonight alone, I am so tired.  I can just sit with my dog.  After tonight there will be another brother in law and wife and daughter staying here for a day or two so the peace and quiet will be gone.  I haven't had a chance to catch up on all of your posts so hope you all are getting through this week as well as you can.  Mom is not computer savy and this computer is very very slow and frustrating to use but at least it works.  Hugs to all of you

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    well done, bren - where would we be without our dogs?

    Sue xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Love it Ailsa xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Evening everyone

    Well we`ve done it!!Passed Xmas day. Last night was harder for me, went to bed and cried and cried but today has been ok. Paul`s mum and dad enjoyed it too and were thrilled with the sky candles. We let 8 off and they were lovely, we shouted `Merry Xmas` to everyone. Will put photo s on facebook tomorrow.

    Laughing at `Father Ted`, it`s not small, it`s far away lol!!!

    Night everyone, busy day and shattered now

    Helen xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Evening to everyone,   Merry xmas to you all and hope you have all had a nice day and got through it as best as possible. I have been feeling much better today and had a good day with Charlie and i am just home. My dad managed to come as well so that was nice. Well we let off two sky candles and it was great my sister stays a good mile away and we phoned them before we let them off and they could see them i was thinking of you all when they went up in to the sky and of course all our loved ones i am sure Derek would have been so taking with them. Hopefully Kim will help me put some photos on to facebook don't know if they are very clear though. Dave hope you got through the day and the boys had a good day and got a lot of nice pressies. Well i am off to bed with a coffee Darren off out with his pals, speak to you all tomorrow. Luv and Hugs Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I'm off to bed but wanted to acknowledge that, one way or the other, we got through it.  Haven't heard from Patricia or Gayle so I hope you are both okay.  Good to hear you found a way through it as well Bren.  I will check FB for sky candle photos tomorrow Fiona and Helen.  Hope Manda, Quill, Dot & Alan are all okay as well.  Speak soon - night night penguins xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning everyone,
    Just popping by to leave you all some love and (((HUGS))) Done my candles last night and had a audience of nosey neighbours, one of mine ended up in a tree so I panicked and climbed the tree hitting it with a broom to put it out lol, I must have looked a right sight,  one came down in my back field and the others floated away with our messages.
    Wishing you all a relaxing and peacefull day.
    Quill xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning, all

    beautiful day here - rained in the night and all the remnants of snow and ice have disppeared.

    Just going to take the dogs for a long trampin the field, then a quiet day - only Alice's boyfriend due today.

    Thanks for yesterday, penguins - we got there. Sky candles were great - think i might do it again on new year's Eve.

    sue xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember