My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi All

Manda, special hi to you and Hayley.  Yes, the strangest and seemingly random things can upset so much and yet  you then manage to cope with something huge. 

Ailsa, I agree that you should try and get as much rest as possible the next two days so that you can enjoy your weekend with your sister.  We will want pictures.   Dottee, if the Bug Hig was a slip of the finger then it was one that was meant to be - it is now firmly in my vocabulary, but only for those special people that deserve them.

Rosemary, sorry that Samantha is not feeling well, hope she feels better soon.  You seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment hun. 

Helen, I never said that I was interested in football - just that you had made me notice when Liverpool were playing!! Although obvioiusly I do completely understand the offside rule .... haha.  And you know what, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you falling out with Liam was a good thing, almost 'normal' - in that it could be seen as normal service has been resumed by mum (I don't mean you specifically - I mean all mums!!) I know that sometimes I still 'tippytoe' round things that before I would have made plain were unacceptable, and that is probably not the best way for me to handle it.  Boundaries need to still be there, just maybe a little more flexible! Anyway, any teenager can be bought off with a takeaway. LOL.

Sue - the very idea of my dogs chasing a ball anywhere is quite comical.  Joey just has the one brain cell and I am fairly sure was retired from greyhound racing for going the wrong way round the track!  And Kat (yes that is her name, and no I didn't name her that) is far to dignified (and scared) to chase a ball.  I call her the Julia Roberts of the greyhound world because she is slim and tall and beautiful, and Joey therefore must be a kind of Bruce Willis in Die Hard type  - muscley, a bit daft with a grubby white vest but full of good intentions! 

Lynne, Just you make sure you order one of Sue's hats and get yourself one of those duvet style coats hun, I think we are in for a cold spell.  I can picture you on your bench with your lap top - do you have fingerless gloves for typing?  For some bizarre reason in Aberdeen they are call Humell Dods - don't know why!!  Love to you Patricia and Fiona and anyone I have forgotten.

Judi xxxx 

Hi everyone.  I just needed to come on here before I set off on my great adventure.  I am leaving shortly to go down to my daughters in Bracknell tonight.  Then tomorrow afternoon I will drive to my sisters in Southfields in London ready for the first part of the weekend.  I think I have everything ready to go in the van.  Beleive it or not I still had to do a bit of painting when I got in from work today so that my mum & dad can paper!

Manda & Rosemary I hope your socialising last night went well and I hope Beckham is on the mend Rosemary.

Lynne, Helen - I promise there will be photos on FB by Monday.  Sorry Lynne - no one has dropped out yet.

Sue - I promise to enjoy this.  I hope your kitten is over the shed thing and I love the rain hat - might need to borrow it.

Judi I love your description of Joey & Kat.

Lots of love to Patricia, Gayle, Fiona, Dot.  Have a good weekend everyone.  Ailsa xx

Ailsa, have a wonderful weekend...... make sure you wipe that bit of paint off your nose before you go!! Judi xx

Ailsa have a lovely, lovely weekend xxxxx

Ladies I suppose you are right, last night`s occurrence probably was a bit of normality!!! I haven`t really shouted or laid down the law for a while, beware lol!!!!

Judi I`m not sure if anyone truly understands the offside rule he ha!!! Male or female!!!

How is everyone tonight? I am so tired and feel as if I`m on a conveyor belt, work home bed, work home bed!!! There must be more to life!!

Amanda thanks for your friend request, been looking at your lovely wedding photos xx

Bug higs to everyone, speak later

Helen xxx

Hi Ailsa just a quick one to say bon voyage , have a fab weekend , cant wait for pics , just off to get my tea and then i'll be back (no Patricia i'm not cooking .. again!!! )

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi guys

Helen you certainly hit a nerve with me today. Work, home, bed ...... and that life.  Just a 'bad' one I guess, pouring with rain again and windy.  I am just not used to coming home and talking to no one from lunchtime onwards.  I know I could 'phone a friend' (no chance of a million at the end of it though!) but that's not what I want .... and now I sound like a spoilt child! 

Fell asleep on the sofa this afternoon and dreamt of Ed, only the second time that has happened.  And I know I woke up at one point and just wanted to get back to sleep to get back to him, and I did, and the dream carried on, but wasn't very nice from then on, and even though I was asleep I kind of knew it, and knew I could wake up from it, but I didn't want to cos even if it wasn't nice at least Ed was there.  It has shaken me a bit to be honest.  Sorry guys, just a bad day I guess.  I can't phone anyone to tell them cos they will worry that I am going mad ... but I think you will understand. 

Back tomorrow when normal service will be ressumed, I hope.  Loads of love to all.  Judes xx

bug, bug higs, Judi xxx

      sue x

HI all again , well had my tea (tomato soup Patricia sorry still can't be bothered to cook just for my self )Sue , it is cold most days at the cemetery now although i do go well equipped , its not really that pleasant up there when its cold and wet but i still manage a little time everyday , next week i'm on a 7am to 4pm shift so unless i call in the day with ambulance (very naughty ) i wont be able to go as the gates shut at 4 now till feb i think . I will just have to cope and hope i dont go into meltdown cos i cant get . Judi i dont take my laptop but i can get on the internet through my phone , so fingerless gloves are sounding good at the moment lol. I met the man who visits his wife next door to Gordon , she was 37 and died 1 year ago today , they have 5 kiddies the youngest being 5 . We had a good chat and cry and hug , as at least we both understood what the other is going through . I would never have though  a year ago that would spend so much time in a church yard , but i've met so many lovely people . Esme , i hope your having a better time today , dont you think sometimes that all we want is a nice peaceful, stress free life but we just dont get it . Helen , glad the take away worked lol , have you got any plans for the weekend , so far apart from shopping on sat i've got nothing planned , kids will probably come for dinner on sunday .

Well big sis is in Benidorm this week with her husband and she's having a fantastic time , my little sis has decided she wants to go back now , and wants me to go too , we are both off work the week after next so she's looking at flights to see how cheap they are . I want to go but always feel so guilty , but i always think its 5 days less sat here on my own . Anyway we'll just see what happens , she might not even find flights , i know she can get accomadation .

Hi Gayle , not be long before your connected again , we've missed you xx . Hi Fiona , hope your ok hun , not be to long for the baby now xx

Hi dottee , your posts on "carrying on " are hillarious , keep them comong , like Patricia says , how can we have a long face for long when we read your posts xx

Hi Amanda , thank you for accepting me as a friend onF/B , i to have been looking at your wedding pics , there lovely . How long ago was it ?

Take care all

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxx

Ah Judi , sorry your having a bad time today , you've always cheered me up and i wish there was something i could say to make you feel better , Sue has it right again , itt will just have to be a bug hig xxxxx

Bug higs Judi, sorry I touched a nerve. Just thinking too deep tonight!! Day at a time eh!!

Love the pics as ever.

Not much planned here,Lynne this weekend. Might start some xmas shopping and said I might pop into local to see friends. Going to gym too, need to get back into it. Went Tuesday so might go tomorrow.

Off to bed soon, night everyone

Helen xxx