My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone.  Just popping on before I go to bed.  I am soooo tired.  I didn't have any friends round after all.  Just my mum & dad and my sons girlfriend and my youngest daughter.  The other couple who were coming cried off because of illness.  It was lovely to see them but I have spent the evening cooking for them all and now I am done in after all the decorating I've done.  My eyes sting I am so tired.

Fiona, Esme, here are lots of hugs from me for you both ((((((hugs)))))).  I loved your poem Rosemary.  I hope Kim can get some rest before the baby comes Fiona.  Think I should give in and go to bed.  Night all.  Ailsa xx

Hi all , Ailsa no wonder your tired , try and take it easy today , you'll wear yourself out , but glad you had company last night , are you going to rest today ? you;ll have a busy weekend next weekend .xx

Patricia you are never unloved and unwanted ., we need you and always will xx

Esme i really hope your feeling a bit better today , i know hugs off us arn't want you want but  i hope thet help a little .. Dottee , i can see how you got your name lol , you always lift our spirits , keep it up xx

Hope everybody else is haveing a good weekend , Not sure when Judi and Helen get back , cant wait to hear about there weekend . I had a late one last night , didn't get in till 2 , oh my i will suffer later , but aybe i'll sleep better lol .

Just waiting for the kids to come for dinner , chaos reigns again , but i love them all coming .

Take care

Lynne xxxx

Hi everyone - more (((hugs))) for you all.........hmmmmm - don't know what you mean Lynne!!!!  Dot T..... by name..............dotty by nature????????xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone, I had a lovely day and yes Lynne a few ciders helped. We had a few dirinks in Wigan then went for an all you can eat chinese. Got train back and went to a pub near home to watch the fight (Liam and his friends came to join us) then finished off in our local. Busy day, tired today!! Although the friends we went to see did ask if me and my neighbour are an `item`!!! No, we are just friends!! See, people do jump to conclusions but we both know where we stand!! Can a male and female be just friends because I don`t see him as anything else. He`s going through a seperation and enjoyed a day away  from it all too. Did us both good.

Esme lovely words xxx Your birthday will be difficult, but I found mine ok in the end. Lots of tears in the morning but had a good day. Hopefully you will too.

Fiona how are you today? Hugs ((()))

Ailsa well done on getting it done, sounds like it will be lovely.

Dottee you make me laugh, you must be a real tonic for Alan too xx

Lynne you dirty stop out!!! Enjoy your Sunday with the family.

Lesley don`t worry about long posts, like everyone else I enjoy reading everyone`s. What you been up to this weekend?

Judi how was your `sleepover`? Are you still recovering?

Hope everyone else is ok

I`m having a quiet day today, making a steak and mushroom pie for tea!!

Helen xxx

Hi all

Firstly I must thank Dottee for the higs, they were very welcome.  I think from now on if I am feeling really down or in need I will just give myself a HIG, and I will imagine it comes from you guys!!

The sleepover was fine, in fact it was fun.  The hotel is 95% ready and everyone really enjoyed themselves, there was a bit of a party atmosphere.  The bed and shower was fantastic - but I didn't have a mug or cup in my room to make my hot chocolate in the morning - so I have obviously put a serious complaint in and demanded a refund ..... ooops .... it was all free!!

No seriously, it went much better than I thought it might have.  Nicky, the owner was Ed's best mate, and they always took the mickey out of each other etc, so he and I raised a glass of brandy and baileys (Ed’s favourite nightcap) I was able to say "you missed a bit" at an unpainted wall in Ed's honour.  However, I walked home the next morning, as it is only a mile or so away, and felt very low the rest of the day.  As you guys will know,  we would have spent the day laughing and rehashing who said what, who drank too much etc.  I do find the big things easier to cope with these days, it is the normal, everyday stuff that is still so very hard.  But I had a wee chat with Patricia last night and, as always, she cheered me up. 

Rosemary - completely get what you said about your up and coming birthday.  So I am going to send you a HIG and a box of tissues, both of which will come in handy.  Sue, any chance of you supplying the picture here!

Helen, I am SO glad that you went and enjoyed your day, and if you are prepared to pick out the mushrooms, I will be round about 6 for my tea! lol.

Lynne - you make a Cool Ranch Dude.  But I think you will find that Ranch Hands have to start the day early - so 2am is a bitty late!  And I think they only eat beans, so you might want to rethink that as a career move!

Ailsa hun, I bet your sitting room is gorgeous, you should be SO proud of yourself.  Like you and Anna, I love having things round me that are special.  Keep posting Anna, as you so rightly said, time seems to take on a whole different scale now doesn’t it.  All a bit Groundhog Dayish I find, some things seems forever ago and yet no time at all. 

Fiona, love to you – keep concentrating on Kim and the new ‘wee one’ – how Scottish do I sound!  Not long to go now.  

Gayle, hope you are feeling a bit better, let us know how you and the boys are settling in.

It is a beautiful day here today, have already been take roses (white ones this time) and have a chat with Ed, so am going to take the dogs out for a yomp. 

Love to all  - Judi xxx

Aarggh, I knew there was something - Lesley - so sorry for calling you Anna, it is Sunday and my one brain cell likes to take a rest. 

Rosemary - toilet rolls - yes - very important in my house too.  I used to tease Ed for years about the fact that I had very happily troddled (is there a word) through life without giving 'the correct way to hand a toilet roll' a second though.  But not him - there is, apparently ,only one way to hang a toilet roll - and that is with it hanging down the front.  This has become so completely indoctinated in my psyche that I even change them in othere people's houses!   But I love the fact that I have things about my character that are only there cos of my darling.  So keep building that pyramid.  xxxx Judi xxx

Evening all , all quiet here now , i do love them coming but like you Judi i always feel a "little flat" after they,ve gone , oh well at least they come and we have a lovely time . Glad you enjoyed your sleep over Judi , and thanks for the commentsabout the beans lol , and i am used to early starts , i worked in a bakery for 10 years and used to get up at 3 am , but i was finished for 12 so the day went really fast . , i wouldn't want to go back to it tho , i love my job now .

Helen it sounds like you had  a fantastic day , isn't it nice when the kids come out with you , , no wonder you've had a lazy day lol , and dont worry about what people say about you and your friend , i know its easy for me to say , but if he's someone to go out with ,you go for it , you both know where you stand and thats all that matters .

Hows everyone else doing tonight ? Ailsa have you been a good girl and took it easy today ?

Take care

Lynne xxxxxxxxxx

Well, that's the ironing done for now.

just some preparation for this week at school.......

by the way, dot and Judes i found this picture for you........................

Love it Sue xxx

Yes Sue, that is exactly what I think a HIG looks like.  Just for special people, when needed. Judi xx