My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi Gang , well i got to see my friend , she's the one who had breast cancer and lost all her hair a few months ago , it has been growing back steadily but darker than it usualy is , well this morning for the first time since her chemo she'd had her blond streaks put in , she looked amazing and i burst into tears when i saw her ,what  a wuss i am , she loved her flowers i bought her so i'm so glad i made the effort to go and meet her , its to easy isn't it to keep putting things off . One of Gordons friends has just called to see me , he's the one that crys and i end up comforting  him , (as he did today ) but he came to ask about Gordons tools at work , he said no one has touched them , they all just keep looking at them , he said if i'd got the key he would get them and bring them to me , i said would he like them and he burst into tears again and said he'd love them . I know Gordon would have wanted him to have them , he came to see him when he was off work sick and they got on so well .

I've had a draft through the post of the head stone so i'm pretty pleased with it so far , so hopefully that will go up in the next few weeks .

Debs hope Kate enjoys her swim brrrr its looking cold out there .. Ailsa i'm so glad your feeling a little more positive now , i still think about going for counciling but this posting really helps doesn't it ?. Patricia i'll try and avoid the doors but there is lots of steps lol . The top sounds fab , i was just thinking as you described it no one will ever have one the same ..

Hi Fiona , Kax Esme , and dottee and of course Sue , enjoy your ruby wedding , sat nav !!! took me on a right detour yesterday but thats another story lol , i'll try and avoid , dryers , balloons coffee and all sharp objects ..

Speak soon

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxx

Evening everyone

Kate did enjoy her swim, although with the wind she said she found she drank loads of water. she only has a few more weeks left this year to train in the lake as it closes at the end of this month, so it will just be the swimming pool until april. Not sorry as it was freezing watching today. As we were both cold when we got home we decided to make a lovely apple crumble yum. Having had two days off work its back tomorrow, hopefully it will be a bit better, at least it will be be busy, so the time will hopefully go fast.

Good luck with the ruby wedding Sue hope you get there! Iv'e never used a sat nav, my dad has one and I find it really weird just as apassenger so not sure I would be able to concentrate with it as a driver, have heard of so many people being sent the wrong way and going up the wrong way in one way systems not sure i could trust it anyway.

Ailsa glad your feeling a bit better and not feeling so desperate for the counselling, thank goodness for this place eh. Now don't go over doing it today we know what your like when you have your busy head on.

Hope everyones weekends are going well

Debs x

Evening!!!

Lynne bet your friend was really pleased xxx No I haven`t got a scouse accent, I live about 20 miles from Liverpool but if we go on holiday some people think we sound bit scouse.

Ailsa your blinds will be great! My sis in law made some and they took her ages but she was so pleased with them.

Sue have a good day tomorrow. Patricia the top sounds lovely, well done!

Hi Gayle, Newcastle sounds great!! People might think we`re all a bit potty meeting up with people we`ve met on the internet!!!! What do we tell the kids lol!!!

Debs and Fiona hope you`ve had a good day. Good luck to your daughter with her swimming!

I had a lovely night last night but paid for it today!! Too much Rose`. We ended up on friend`s trampoline, good job Lynne wasn`t there, could have been dangerous lol!! It was good medicine!!!

Hi to Dotttee and everyone else xxx Just waiting for x factor!!

Helen xxx

Evening girls - thought I'd drop by with some (((((((((hugs))))))))) for you all........although you all sound so upbeat!!!  Lynne - Has the airline got enough parachutes too????  Have fun and take care while you're away........I need a walking buddy end of this month!!!!

My doc offered to arrange counselling for me when Alan was in hospital - but when I eventually got an appointment (it took 3 months to get an initial assessment) the guy I saw was rather abrupt and said they '...don't offer that kind of support...' and suggested I rang Samaritans!!!!  But I've had some counselling through work's occupational health dept - and it's a release to be able to pour your heart out to someone in person (it's different here as there isn't always an instant reaction).  So if you work for a big organisation (I work for our local council) perhaps they can arrange this for you??  It isn't for everyone - but do give it a try............

Ailsa - clever you making blinds...I tried once and they went all wonky so I lost heart and bought some instead!!  It's ages since my sewing machine saw the light of day.  I may get it out soon though to try out some new techniques on my cards!!!  Sue - hope you reach your destination and not John o'Groats!!!!  We argue with 'The Voice'......and we always end up laughing.........Don't know why we have it as Alan is a very good navigator....boys and their toys!!!!!!

To everyone I've missed I blame my aged brain cell!!!!  Love and (((((((hugs)))))))) to you all  Dot xxxxxxxxxx

Hello everyone.  Glad you are all doing okay. 

Patricia I take my hat off to your Dad going to London on his sat nav.  I go to Becky's in Bracknell on mine but it really let me down last night.  It couldn't find the address of the restaurant I was going to but when i used places of interest, restaurants, the restaurant was in the sat nav with the address it didn't know and then it was happy to take me.  How am I supposed to cope with that?  Dot, my sat nav is called Sally Sat Nav.  Declan thinks she is up in the sky watching everything we do!! 

Helen, I had to laugh at the trampoline thing.  A few years ago I got on a trampoline after a few drinks at a friends house.  Funny or what lol!

The friend of Gordon's who crys sounds like a lovely person and well deserving of Gordon's tools Lynne.  I have the stonemason calling here on the way home one day next week to talk about what will go in the headstone and the kerb.  It can't go on until the 12th November but I want to get it sorted out now as I am going away on the 13th to my sister's hen night.  I have to get the bench from the council nominated supplier but I am sure it will be fine and then I will have somewhere to sit and read next summer.

I got a lot done today.  I am going to start to park my van on Chris's drive from now on.  I have planted some bulbs for the spring, in pots and put them on my drive now I am not going to park on it.  I got some oil for the deck so if tomorrow is less windy I can finish the gates and start spraying the deck and fences.  I am having luch at the same neighbour's house as last week.

Right - I need an early night so take care everyone.  Goodnight.  Ailsa xx 

Hi all

Very, very late tonight.  I have been reading and keeping up with everyone's news for the last few days but have been having one of those spells where I just seem to 'watch the world' rather than join in, but I do love reading about what everyone is up to.

Will have porridge for breakfast to see if I can kick start myself again.

Judi xxx

Morning all , Wasn't to bad a night last night the bride looked so beautiful and tanned , cant believe i had my photo took with her , i've put a couple on face book as usual , think i'm addicted !!. Helen cant believe you went trampolining without me so unfair lol Judi i know what you mean about just watching the world , i've done it myself but i do find babbleing on here does help . Dottee i wil be there for the walk ready willing not sure about able .. Do we have any confirmation through the post about registering ?

Ailsa your right Gordon's friend is a lovely person and he thought the world of Gordon and visa versa .I had been thinking about his tools as he paid a lot for his tools and they we're specialist precision tools and i couldn't bare to think about the tools being thrown arround , but apparantely no one had touched them so i'm glad he came and they will be put to good use . I hope your meeting with stone mason goes well ..

Well i should be thinking about packing , i'm having my nails done at 10 , then i want to see all the kids in the afternoon and spend as much time as i can on my bench , the sun is out so that shouldn't be a problem .

hope every one else has lovely plans for today ..

Take care

Lynne xxxx

Hi Lynne, just wanted to wish you a happy holiday. I hope you come back refreshed. Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Morning

Lynne you`ve done the right thing with Gordon`s tools. I have still got all of Paul`s tools and like Gordon`s many are specialist and expensive Not sure what to do with them really!! Have a lovely holiday xxx

Hope you`re feeling brighter soon Judi, keep reading.

Got to catch up on jobs today, did nothing yesterday!!! Then off to the gym and for a swim with daughter later.

Speak later

Helen xxx

Morning All

Nice morning here sun shining but just been out with washing and there is a nip there now but wind has gone thankfully. Just going to do some housework and some food shopping today (o i hate food shopping wondering what to get for one) I was just in watching x factor last night then casualty it was a long night on your own. I knitted a wee babies cardi so got it to sew up now i love my knitting but no good at sewing. I have been washing babies clothes for Kim so we are all ready for baby coming so got them to iron now (wonder why i ended up with the job.)Lynne hope you enjoy your hols be careful.  am going to my dad's for tea tonight my sister makes it and brings it over so that will be nice but o it makes me lazy. My sister is 60 on the 16th of this month what am i going to get her as a present it gets harder every year. Well better get ironing board out and get on with some work, speak soon hope you all have a nice day.

Take Care

Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx