My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

 Hi guys and welcom to all the new ladies.  Sorry not been on here all weekend.  Son now at Uni and house sooooooooo quiet.  Been working on garden to keep me busy feeling rather low...Finally getting my head round the site.. Hope all is well with you all.  luv and hugs kaz xxxx

Morning, Kaz

missed you

Sorry you're feeling low - is it because son's gone to uni?   he'll be back, plus shedloads of dirty washing and debts!

hang on in there - keep on posting, especially when you're low, ; we'll be here

sue x

Morning all , well still got my packing to do but i am arganised i think , i've got a few jobs to do this morning (cemmy , flowers , dad see daughter who has just got back from Cyprus) then we are setting off about lunch time , its omly a couple of hours drive .

Gayle i hope you hear about the house offer soon , it must be very stressfull , i've sent all my time in the garden and its still in the back of my head that when things are settled i might want to move , flipping women never make our mind up can we .

Kaz you have been such an inspiration to me , you have always posted some up beat messages  so i hope this "down time " passes quickly for you , i'm sure its got a lot to do with your son going away , but i know you have some fab friends and i'm sure they will keep you going . It was your fantastic garden that inspired me to my little one and it has given me something to think about , need another project now so i'm looking to you aand the girls on here to give me some inspiration , no Sue i'm not doing the garage , cant tackle that yet , to mant tools in there , Gordon loved tools but didn't like useing them lol ..

Patrica i have to keep busy or i would crack , i'm sure the rest of the ladies are the same , your energy will come and then you wont stop .                                 Fiona i hope your enjoying your time with your sister , did they have a BBq ? Fiona , Judi , Esme and Dotte enjoy your day . Helen remember the speed limit in your super car ..

Sue i promise not to fall asleep in the cemetery , one more week and my bench will be there yippee .

Take care .Lynne xxxxxx

Once the bench is there you'd better arrange for internet connection to be available at the cemmy - what could be better!        

have a wonderful time  .

sue x                                                                                             

Ive just read your message today, my husband died in my arms on 19 July and I still cant take it in. I have returned to work last week (14 Sept) on a part time basis as I cant bear to be out of the house for too long - why?? I dont know.   I do understand that feeling of shouting at people in the supermarket why they are all being so normal??? are they stupid or what??

I have a fabulous supportive family who are always at the house or on the phone, but whilst I love their company, its my husband's company I want, not others. I feel like my arms and legs have been chopped off and I have a huge hole in my stomach. Why did nobody tell me I would feel like this? why did he have to die when he was so good and we were so happy? People say your memories will help you, well actually they only make it worse as I remember what fun we used to have and dont have anymore??

I look at his photo and can still imagine the feel of his face, the shape of his head, the smell of his hair, its so unfair

Morning everyone

Hi Lynne hope you get all your packing and other jobs done this morning. Sounds like you'll need a holiday after all that.

Gayle hope you hear about your house soon, it seems like the scottish system is much more complicated than in England, my sister lives near Aberdeen and I know she found it a nightmare and a really stressful time with the sealed bid system. Poor you yesterday with the sick episode, thankfully its been a while since mine were sick, but remember the last time very well, as in our old house the bathroom was downstairs, and my youngest was sick in her bed came in to my room to tell me, was sick again, I ushered her downstairs where she was continually sick going down the stairs, nightmare the house looked like a scene from the exocist!!

Kaz sorry you feeling low at moment it must be so difficult adjusting to your son moving out big hugs to you.

Patricia good luck with your wall papering, I know I certainly find it easier to keep busy I feel a lot worse in the evenings when i tend to be sat down thinking. But know what you mean sometimes it can be a real effort to just get out of bed.

Helen good luck with your credit card today at least its a good excuse to go for a drive!

Hope everyone has a good day

Debs x

Morning Barby

must have just missed your post sorry to hear about your lovely husband. I have to say it made me cry loads as it just emphasises everything I am feeling at the moment. Life is just so cruel and unfair sometimes. My partner died just over a month ago. Most of the people on this site are a little further along the line than us and they give great advice, you will find they are amazing support. Big hugs to you.

Debs

Hi All,

Hope you all had a good weekend? Mine was pretty fun (my sister came to stay on Sat night) and managed no to be too upset about everything!

Barby & Debs, I do know exactly how you feel. My Dad passed on 3rd August after being ill for a short time. I feel like shouting at people all the time!! I feel like it seems so unfair that some people are still here and my lovely Dad, who had so much to give and so much life to live, had to go! I especially get annoyed when I hear people moan & complain about very little things and want to shout "Don't you know how lucky you are???!!!"

End of Rant!! Hope you all have a good day!

Claire x

Morning everyone.  Have walked dogs, now need to think what to do today.  Am seriously considering going as far as putting the ironing board up - you might be able to see a theme starting here. 

Barby hi, I just wanted to reach out and give you the biggest hug when I read your post. 

Oddly, in the eleven months since my darling died I haven't once wanted to shout at people, I do wonder how the world is still going on as normal.  When I see couples together looking happy I just want to warn them, I don't know if I want to tell them to make the most of every minute together, or to tell them to make sure that they have a lot of rows and spend time apart so they are more used to it. 

To be honest though, what I really I have the urge to do is to tell one them that if all that fails then just make sure they go first, so they don't have to go through this.  However, I have a sneaky feeling that my idea of advice will not be used by any counselling agencies!  

Kaz, my son has just gone back to Glasgow to uni - I know exactly how you feel.  I love to hear him sounding full of enthusiasm and happy when he is there but miss him terribly.  Although I have to say the comment about washing and debt certainly rings some bells.

Lynne, I hope that you get the lovely break that you obviously deserve.

Right then, do you think I could get away with walking the dogs again rather than the ironing!!

Judi x

hi Debs thanks for that, Im sorry if I upset you, I am still very angry. I went to a mind body spirit event yesterday and chatted to a woman about how Ive seen/felt things going on in the house and not sure if its him, she says yes it is and he is with you all the time - my big question is Where is he???

she also said that hes going through a grieving process too as he has lost all of us, where as we have only lost one person - it did make a bit of sense when she said it. but that when I have bad days it makes it harder for him to cope and vice versa. not sure if I buy into it all but I do believe that he will try to contact/help me in some way as Ive alraedy felt that. HOpe Im making sense??B