A new me

Hello there, and thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to message me. I am so sorry for what is happening to you. I can only hang onto the hope that with time things will change. The grief will always be with us, but I hope that in time we can learn to live with it. Very best wishes.

Yes, I entirely understand that. It’s as if we have a private persona and a different public one. Sometimes I find that the mask slips. Take care and best wishes

Hello there and thank you so much for sending me the message. I know, it’s awful isn’t it. I am so very sorry for what you were going through. Unfortunately, there’s no magic bullet and I think all we can do is hang on to the hope that in time grief might become more manageable. Until then, however, I know how awful it is. My heart goes out to you and I send you my very best wishes.

Every Lady who is Widowed That I have spoken to says the same thing. Until someone has lost a significant person in their lives ,especially a Spouse / Partner  they cannot comprehend just how bad it gets . It's a totally different relationship to any other. I'm fortunate that I don't know how Heartbreaking it is to lose a child and I hope I never will. But losing someone you have spent years with ,Chose to spend the rest of your life with and felt safe with is So painful. We've lost our Anchor. And now feel lost. 

This is also to you Lexis. I fully relate to how you both feel. Roger was my safety blanket/cushion whatever you want to call it. He brought out the best in me and I miss him so! Whatever I do, I feel and know I'm alone now and it is a year ago today that he was diagnosed and then he sadly passed on 10th September 2025. I've nearly finished my journal and when I read back, I realise how far I've come and then a couple of days ago I went to the cemetery and had a total meltdown! Grief is like it's just there in the shadows. I take small steps and if I am having a better day, I try to embrace it but it's so tough!

Thinking of you all in this journey and wishing you well.

Hi PattyK and Breton I've just replied to another post on this thread. Just to say I  have the same issues with my Son who is 21. He does not open up to me about his Dad and neither do I. He cannot deal with me when I get upset, so I have learned to grieve in private which makes me feel even more alone than ever.

This forum has been a great therapy for me and I'm sure for many others. 

Just wondered if anyone out there knows of a Bereavement retreat in the UK or something similar they could recommend please? The thought of a solo break scares me, but with people going through the similar experiences I thought might help?

I like that idea. A Bereavement Retreat. The West Indies would be nice. 

I think I have just realised something. My relationship with everyone I knew before David died has changed. Even my children. I feel distanced from all of them now, because none of them understands this overwhelming loss. It isn't their fault and it isn't mine, it's just circumstance. They treat me the same as before, but I can't respond in the way I once did. There is a bubble around me and it makes me unreachable. I don't want it to be there but it is. I wonder if this will change in time, or if this is my life now, feeling apart from everyone. And I wonder why I didn't realise it before now. Does any of this make sense? Do others feel this too? 

Hi Spirit, yes, I feel the same. It has taken me two years to start feeling a real connection to others. I wanted that distance, as I knew that they couldn’t possibly understand, and I couldn’t control how I was feeling. I just needed time for myself, to try and learn how to survive. Until you go through it, you cannot possibly know what it feels like. I have actually started to enjoy socialising again, on a limited basis. I saw an old friend yesterday, we sat at her beach hut and chilled for three hours. A spur of the moment decision, but really pleasant. 

Thankyou Kate, you have given me hope that I will 'find myself' again eventually. I feel I'm just going through the motions at the moment, pretending to enjoy things. There are brief glimmers of the old me, literally just a few seconds sometimes, but she's in there somewhere. Thanks again, and to everyone for all the support here.