Hi
My wonderful wife died two weeks ago, she had duodenal cancer that had spread to her lungs and lymph system and other places. We were a perfect match, we did everything together and were like to peas in a pod. I love her immensely. We had been together for 25 years.
I looked after her for the last few months however, she was able to get up and go out right until a few days before she died. She was incredibly brave, positive and upbeat, even with everything that was happening. She was misdiagnosed for several months from first going to hospital in January, being told she had pancreas problems and that it was definitely not cancer, so when we finally got a cancer diagnosis in June, it was advanced, however we thought that, with chemo, she would have at least a year. Things moved very quickly in the end and even though we knew it was incurable, it is an immense crash, from me spending all my time with her, looking after her, to a short spell in hospital to now not having her any more.
I'm writing this as it helps to just get it all out there.
I am spending a lot of my daytimes finalising the arrangements for her funeral, however, the night times are very lonely. People offer to come to the house, but I prefer to be alone. I went out last night to the supermarket, for the first time since she has gone, just to get out of the house. Walking around the shop, past the items that I would normally get for her was terrible, I felt so alone and hopeless.
A friend of hers who lost her husband, told me to talk out loud to her as if she is still here and that helps - does anyone have any other advice?
Thanks
Tom
