It will soon be 1.5 years that I lost my partner of 18 years. My way of coping is trying to keep constantly busy, arranging activities with friends. But whatever I do, that emptiness is there inside me, my heart hurts all the time but I feel I can't talk about it, or him, or how I feel. Put on a front daily because I feel people think I've moved forward and I haven't but I don't really know who to talk to and what I actually want to say because its not going to change things. I have people say to me I will meet someone else eventually but I cant/dont want to think about anyone else as my heart is full of love and such sadness for my soulmate. I dream about him most nights. I say to people I don't want to live old as life doesn't really have much purpose anymore. Sorry im rambling.
