Talk

Hi heartbreak,   I lost my husband Nick 6 months ago and like you he was my everything, not just my husband he was best friend.  Everyone says how well I'm doing but I do the same put on  a front and then I cry into a blanket at night and cant stop.

I tried speaking to Cruse bereavement and they were very nice and kind but just not of any help really.  I think I might need to find a counsellor and that way I can say anything without feeling it's silly.  Do you think it might help you too?

The other thing I try to do is keep chatting on here or if you're part of any other groups.  It helps to know there's someone out there.

Sending much love

Angela

I did see a councillor and spent the whole time crying and felt awful for a few days after it put me off going again. I try not to talk about anything in front of my kids and the sad thing is my 1st grandchild is about to arrive but I cant think of anything apart from how unfair my situation is. I spent weekend with friends who we would of gone out with as a couple and makes it worse thinking he should be with us. I don't want to talk sad depressing stuff with anyone as feel nobody understands really or subject sort of gets changed so I just laugh and joke to cover it up. Hugs to you to this is so awful x

Others, that haven’t experienced this deep loss cannot possibly understand. We do, and we need each other to try and make sense of the horror. I dream about my Paul every night, and I quite often have a full conversation with him about things happening in my day. I have found a new website called What’s Your Grief. I have found it incredibly helpful, as it covers the many different facets of grief and our lives now. There are lots of different articles, and it is free. I personally couldn’t care a less about meeting someone. People can’t handle our pain, and are petrified of death. That’s why we have to pretend. It makes our lives even more difficult (If that is possible.) Try and keep posting, if you can. Kate.xxx

Hi heartbreak. We are a good listening and sharing bunch here and have a shared understanding of this awful path we exist on.

Youre not rambling, just say it, whatever you feel. Im hoping counselling will help me as Im not much of of a talker and feel I do need to say some things.

Im nearly 8 months on this path and I find people think youre ok, we all put on a face to a certain degree because its our survival strategy. People dont understand. Which is why coming here helps. You can speak without judgement.

Nope. You're not rambling heartbreak I think we can all relate to what you have posted. Yes people think because they see you out and about that you are `back to normal` but unfortunately it's hard to decide what `normal` is anymore and yes you can get involved in as many activities as possible but somehow that empty feeling is still there. So much you want to share with them but can't and at times it just seems so unfair. I dream about Jay often too and sometimes the dreams are so vivid as though they are actually happening and then I wake up and am so disappointed that it was just a dream. I think these are called `visitation dreams` as the psychics call it where your lost loved one is reaching out to you well that's supposed to be the theory of it. I have my 3rd anniversary of Jay's loss just coming up in June really doesn't feel like that. I feel I have moved forward slightly but at other times I just feel as though time has stood still. Sending Hugs. 

Vicky x

Thats interesting Kate, when I tried Whats your grief, there was a monthly charge so I gave up. 

At the moment I am able to access, all of their articles. 

Ramble all you like as we all get it here. We have much the same thoughts and are able to put them into words here ,the way we cannot with people who have no / are not dealing with the loss of a Significant Soulmate. Only those who have to navigate this uncertain and overwhelming path of Emotions understand. I don't want to go over the stupid things people have said to me . I will only bring up feelings of Anger and resentment. The Future .. I try not to look too far ahead . Taking one day at a time gets me through. And I think it's still so Raw. I can't even imagine being with anyone else .just want my Hubby back even though the logic my brain tells me that's impossible. Focus on the now ,Projects ,hobbies what ever helps. x

I use it and there is no charge Malengw.