Frightened of not having time to remember him

I am very sorry to read your post - and I don't have any good advice to offer. But I can tell you that I am moved by your story, and that I am thinking of you.

Your husband was very lucky to have you by his side during his illness: he will have relied on your love and support. He can't help you in person now - but his memory can. You were strong for him; now, you need to be strong for yourself. So think of your husband, and know that he would be willing you on.

I hope you can get direct support from other friends and family, and I hope you can summon all of your own strength and resilience.

I send you my love and best wishes.

Hi Moo

Im so sorry you are going through this.  I lost my husband Nick in November and it still feels like yesterday.  Im the first few weeks i was very scared I'd forget him or that others would.   But what I learned was that such love as we had doesn't just stop it continues and lives on in us and you cant forget him.  His strength and love are with you and he's there beside you willing you on.  Just by drawing on the strength you both had for him you are remembering him.

I am sending much love to you and yours

Angela 

Hello Moo, That really is devastating for you to be found you have cancer after what you have gone through losing your most Precious person. I wish you had thought of yourself sooner. I understand why you didn't though. Such a Traumatic loss leaves us bereft. After caring for my Hubby for a very long time he lost the Battle a year ago . I said at the time I didn't care about myself .I just cared about him. When we love someone so deeply this is often true. But from what you say Bryan was your Rock and you will never forget him and the Special memories of your shared life together. Fate has dealt many of us here a mighty blow. You are going through  it a second time with your own health. I'm sure Bryan will be watching over you. And I hope you feel his presence in some way and  have great support in family and friends around you. I don't have a photo out of my Hubby ,but I don't really need one as I see his Handsome face in my mind / head constantly. I cry for him every day. He won't leave my thoughts even if I wanted him to. Sometimes it drives me mad that I find it hard to think of him in every single thing I do.He hasn't left me alone since he died. I can't even go to sleep without dreaming of him and I wake countless times through the night and my first thought is if him and what I have just dreamt . You will Never forget Bryan ,not ever . He will always stay with you and he 'll help you through this . There is nothing much I can add, except that I hope you can take some comfort from listening to the various Podcasts that are available on-line. Writing your thoughts in a Journal might help. It never ceases to Amaze me when People I know going through / have been through Cancer find the strength to fight this terrible disease. And I know quite a few personally, My Sister who had Breast cancer 27 years ago and is supporting me with my grief. My Brother- in- law had Throat cancer 4 years ago. My friends daughter had Ovarian cancer at 26 years old and is unable to have children. She is absolutely Amazing. Now in her 40's and living life to the full. Like so many others you will find your inner strength. If you feel the need to share your thoughts, worries or feeling on here do so , it does help to get it out.  Cx