Antidepressants

Sue Ryder or Marie Curie are probably worth trying. I must have been fortunate to have had 6 x 1 hour telephone calls with Cruse , but even that wasn't really enough. 

Half of my message to Spirit has disappeared. I did say that the Podcasts have helped me a lot . 

Karen Sutton The Widow coach . Krista St Germain and there are others . 

Your gp aurgery sounds shocking. Im sorry you're struggling to find anything helpful, there really isnt enough out there for the bereaved but The loss foundation has a variety of resources, I think therapy sessions too but in a group. All free, they just ask for donations but no pressure. 

Also Maggies might have some useful info, that's how I found the loss foundation. 

Macmillan also have a support line I believe and there's the samaritans too.

Ive been using the loss foundation as well. They are group sessions, usually around 10 people, facilitated so noone dominates the conversation. Its not the same as one to one counselling but it has helped to feel less alone,and a bit more normal in the sense that its not just me that feels the way I do.

I have used the Sue Ryder Grief forums. They're ok.

I keep having a little look at The loss foundation. But have been busy with other things. How are you doing Patty ? Is this your worst time of year ? . I seem to remember you said so . My worst  months  were March... Leading up to April and May the worst . I have the odd rate day when I don't fall apart so much ,then the next day I am a Weeping wreck. 

Yes Bretton

This is my worst time. This month is the anniversary of Jays passing on the 23rd. Three years this year hardly feels like that. Next Sunday the 21st was our Wedding anniversary and it is also Father's Day this year the way it falls. I'm holding everything together though. A few family issues are going on but am confident they'll get sorted. My little granddaughters keep me going though and Thank God for them.

Thank you for this, I needed it today. Month  5 and I’m feeling awful and assumed I was heading towards depression.

Cant seem to find the motivation to do anything, which makes me feel worse.

Hi PollyJ

Five months is still quite early and everything you feel just now will be normal for you. I am 3 years in next week (23rd June). This coming Sunday would have been our wedding anniversary. Hardly feels like 3 years for me. Your head will be all the place still and all sorts of thoughts and feelings running through and don't let anyone tell you that after 5 months you should be `over it` grief doesn't have a time limit and it's different for everyone we all grieve differently. Having no motivation to do anything I get. There are still some days I wonder why I am getting out of bed but I have people who still depend on me so that keeps me going. I care for my older sister she has learning difficulties and has gone through 2 cancer diagnosis and came out the other side. Her 2nd diagnosis (bowel cancer) came just two months after I lost my husband in 2023. I also have two little granddaughters aged 6 years old  and 8 months. My daughter in law is due to go back to work so to save money on hefty nursery fees I will be getting roped into the childminding some days. All gives me a purpose I suppose. Just keep coming here when you feel you need to we all get it and are a good support for one another. Take Care. 

Vicky 

Thank you. I gave up work to care for husband so feel lost at the moment. 
trying my best to keep busy but find myself just sat quite a lot instead of “doing”

don’t feel strong enough to apply for jobs or go through and interview process yet.

it’ll come I guess 

Hello Polly , I wouldn't rush back to work unless you have to for financial reasons . I am fortunate in that I am retired . Sometimes I feel like I could do with the extra money , but even if I had the energy they would only tax me and it wouldn't be worth it. I get the feelings of lack of motivation. for the firsr 5-6 months I was still in shock and denial. Then it hit me like a brick. I tried avoiding thinking about what had happened . We were in the process of selling our house and I had to go through the motions of sorting things out. Still the paperwork to do after losing my Dear Hubby. Then all that's involved in moving house . I sorted through boxes, decorated transformed the front garden. Anything to try avoid the pain and thoughts of my greatest loss. But once you stop it's there waiting for us. I've just been through all the firsts Anniversaries, Birthdays etc without him. And came to the realisation that this is it...he will never come back. It is difficult to keep the motivation to do anything much now. I really have to push myself to complete a job. I began a Yoga class with my Elder sister and that's the only time I go out besides doing the shopping. And of course I have to walk the dogs which forces me out of the house every day whether I want to or not. The realisation that this was my "Life" now has brought on depression. I wonder what's the point of making the house and gardens nice anymore . Sometimes I find myself just sitting in a daze . I think it's probably something we all do. I suppose it's what we need to do. Pause , rest have a cry . I've never cried so much in my whole 68 years . I've cried every single day for over a year now and it can be exhausting. But also a release of some of the pain. I hope you are trying to eat well, get plenty of rest and reach out for any help you can get . I listen to a lot of Podcasts which I find helpful. Karen Sutton The Widow coach I think I have found most helpful, but there are many others . The ones who have been through the loss of a spouse know exactly the emotions we go through . Go on you tube and give them a try . Cx