Panicky about the future

Yes I would say that was about right Malengwa. I found year 2 (last year) just that bit harder. As I said before I think the 2nd year it comes to a realisation that they are in fact gone I'm just coming up to my 3rd year and I have been having little waves of grief again the last couple of weeks I think for me it is the build up to year 3. But as I have also said here it is different for everyone on their grief journey. 

xx

Oh! yes the madness . I could really scream the house down some days . Poor dogs get worried when I'm very upset. I really don't know how you manage at work . I'm sure I couldn't . I would be crying all the time . And my brain just isn't working the same . I hope your colleagues are understanding. It doesn't sound like your Boss is. Problem is the money. I'm just managing on my Pension and the Widows Pension which Hubby paid a hell of a lot into. I really don't care about having a lot of money and never have ..good thing as we've never had a lot.  I could live in a 1 up 1 down again if only he were still here . Yep ! I thought the 1st year was bad , but it's not getting any easier . Another Docs. app. tomorrow . I hope I don't cry as much as last time . He didn't know what to do with me , He was very patient but I think he was glad to show me the door. I better pop a pill before I go.