Joined Way up

Hi PattyK, 

I don't think I've said this before.  The day they took the chemotherapy pump off Sue, for the first and last time. I waited for Sue to be out of ear hearing.  I said to 3 nurses, she is not right there is something wrong. I got told I was worrying to much, its just the chemotherapy. So I went away feeling stupid, less then 2 days later Sue had gone ahead. I always wonder why they didn't listen to me. I knew my wife better then them.

Take care. 

They don't listen to us because they think they know more than us. It makes me so angry. I wish I had trusted my gut instinct. Our trouble is we don't kick up a fuss when we have the feeling something isn't right. We put our trust in them. I for one am going to try be more forthright in future. They just don't think that you can see when something isn't right with the closest person . I am angry with myself for not following my intuition. We need to teach our Children that they should follow their thoughts if they feel something isn't right and not take No for an answer. The Medical profession can be too complacent believing they know best. 

I have just been reading about Under active thyroid and it suggests going dairy free and  that you might be lacking in the B vitamins.  riboflavin B2 and B12. and selenium deficiency. I used to buy my Hubby Brazil nuts which are a good source. And zinc . I take Magnesium and zinc for the immune system. I try to get these from food rather than tablet form is possible. 

Yes we know our partners best, like we know ourselves best. I keep being told I need anti depressants, i dont think they will help, so I havent seen a dr because im scared they will just go down that route. 

Today is 6 months since that awful October day when he was begging to die. I dont know where that time has gone. Tomorrow is his birthday and Ive bought him a card. I dont care if anyone thinks Im bonkers, let them. Im going to write some thought in it and keep it with his ashes. 

Malengwa,

 If you think you need to see a doctor please do. I got given antidepressants ,but have not taken them.  She understands and says it my choice. They might be able to help if you want counselling.

There is nothing mad about the cards, I did it for her birthday and Christmas. I got old one's out from Sue to me for Christmas and my birthday.  You do what feels right for you, its your journey. 

Take care 

My Husband's Birthday is next week. He wasn't at all well this time last year . This month has been as bad and sad as I expected. The first for everything are so very difficult . I hate it . I don't know what I'm going to do with myself next week. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks ,if it makes it any better for you ,then you do it buy a lovely card and write how you feel and keep it. I really need to look for our old Love letters . I really need to try sort myself out.......I have just been trying to take 1 day at a time and I just don't know how I've survived almost a year. I've got some Antidepressants , but if they've even kicked in now they only help me sleep on a night. That's the only reason I've carried on taking them. Nothing can take the pain and longing away. I Don't think there is enough support For the bereaved . I don't feel I can really talk to anyone , because they either don't really understand or don't want to be dragged down with our depression. 

Thank you, for your research. I have recently started taking a daily vitamin B. This covers all of them. Butter is my weakness, though. 

Thanks Breton, Ghost and everyone.

It's just that I had been through it already with my sister. She had breast cancer in 2019 in its very early stages and she got taken into the Beatson cancer hospital in Glasgow and was able to get it cut out but after it they told her she would be having 15 sessions of radiotherapy just to make sure that everything had gone. Jay and I used to take her there for 3 weeks (daily sessions for 5 days) and this was why I wondered  why they weren't doing it for Jay as I assumed it was a standard thing with all cancer procedures. The oncologist he was under seemingly was one of the specialists at the `top of the tree` who said that he didn't need the post treatment. I really thought that odd because it was such a big operation but like a lot of you here are saying I didn't have the gall to question it properly but found out later there were other complaints against this surgeon think he had made wrong decisions with patients elsewhere too. He retired not long after Jay had his operation. The irony was too that my sister as I said here already too got bowel cancer two months after Jay passed but again it was in its very early stages so she was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth hospital in Glasgow to get that cut out in 2023 and again when she had the surgery she didn't need any post chemo but worried me again but thankfully she has come through it all ok. So all a bit bittersweet she made it but Jay didn't. Just makes you wonder.

xx

Malengwa I am on anti-depressants. I have been on them for a few years for a pre existing condition and they upped the dosage for me when Jay was going through his treatment and I got really desperate. Anti-depressants are not for everyone but go to the GP and talk it over with him/her there are so many on the market just now and they would be able to sort you out on what one and dosage would be good for you. But at the end its entirely up to you. Take Care. 

Vicky x

When my grandson was 7 weeks old he was unwell. The GP told my daughter-in- law it was just gastric upset and prescribed antacid meds. He didn't even take the baby out of his carrier to check him over. My daughter in law trusted her gut instinct and took him to A&E. He was rushed by ambulance to Addenbrooks and diagnosed with sepsis. We almost lost him; she saved his life. Doctors do not always know best.