It's Elsa, back again

Hello Elsa, Good that your son had you over . It seems there are quite a few if us with sons on here. Yes, the coming home to an Empty house is just Horrible. I didn't go out at night often . If we went out together it was usually through the day for an hour or two when My Husband felt up to it. But I would always go straight in to see him in bed on my return. Ask if he wanted anything ,A drink or snack. I'm glad I'm not living in the same house now. But it feels odd.  And yes isn't that just a kick in the teeth when you push yourself to go out and couples are walking holding hands . It makes me Angry, sad and quite sick. So Bloody jealous as well. I have no choice to go out for a walk at least twice a day with the dogs . The Park is well used by a diverse group of people. Always Children in the play area. A group of Teenagers meet up there . Make a mess when they leave their rubbish. Can be rowdy and not always respectful of others. Couples walking their dogs . A Widower with his Spaniel who likes to chat . I always make a point of mentioning my Husband as if he's still here. And another older Widow with her little dog. I kept myself busy in the first few months. Sometimes not always a hiring much ,other days overdoing it.  Now I don't want to do anything. I have lots that needs doing ,but gabe no motivation . I will clean the house and sometimes cook. But scrolling for a Podcast that might help me feel better. There seems no point in rushing around ,getting things done ..for who ? I couldn't sleep at all in the beginning ,like you I was exhausted ,I got some sleeping tablets from the Doctors. Now on weak antidepressants . Which help me sleep but no more. Perhaps ask got some sleeping tablets just to give you some relief from the tiredness. Try eat something nourishing even if it's only a little now and then. Drink plenty of fluids.  Watch rubbish TV  Listen to Podcasts . Karen Sutton, Julia Samuel and Krista St Germaine are good I've found  There are plenty of others too. I've found these 3 voices are gentle ,rather than some of the Americans who are a bit too happy ,noisy and high pitched voices. There is another Lady we honestly is good ,but can't remember her name . They are helpful in advance much you listen and it stops your own thoughts for a while and also some good advice and hearing others stories and how they cope/d. I hope some of this is helpful. I'm trying everything to try help me cope. x