Lost my sister and husband

Hi Joolie I'm so sorry about your sister and husband.  My husband also died with kidney cancer.  Its so early in your grief and its compounded by the loss of your sister too.  It will be so hard just now your head will be swimming and I know how your heart is broken.

All I can say is what a friend said to me - take 30 minutes at a time.  Its all I could do.  I'm 18 weeks on and some days half hours at a time is enough.

Try to eat a little and lean on your support and rest if your body tells you to, its exhausting. 

I won't say it gets better because I still feel so low and confused about 'why him, he was so amazing' but keep talking, it helps a little 

Sending much love

Hi Julie

 Im sorry to read about your sister then your husband. My husband also had a rare but aggressive cancer (sarcoma) which saw him go from a strong fit healthy man to skin snd bone, unable to walk, feed himself etc. Its heartbreaking. I find photos help remind me of better days.

Its so recent for you, your head will be all over the place, funeral, paperwork, informing people, it all takes so much energy. I lost count of how many times I tried to phone someone eg pension company only to burst into teras, unable to say My husband died and...

Im glad you have some wonderful family nearby, I am alone a lot as family dont live nearby. Try to eat even if its rubbish, I lived on biscuits and chocolate for the first few weeks. Rest or nap when you can. I set myself one small task to do each day and if I did more, that was a bonus. I watched a lot of rubbish telly, still do in fact.

Yes we are a good bunch here, we all know how sh*t it is, it helps to feel less alone and to know that we really arent going mad!