Lost my sister and husband

Hi Joolie I'm so sorry about your sister and husband.  My husband also died with kidney cancer.  Its so early in your grief and its compounded by the loss of your sister too.  It will be so hard just now your head will be swimming and I know how your heart is broken.

All I can say is what a friend said to me - take 30 minutes at a time.  Its all I could do.  I'm 18 weeks on and some days half hours at a time is enough.

Try to eat a little and lean on your support and rest if your body tells you to, its exhausting. 

I won't say it gets better because I still feel so low and confused about 'why him, he was so amazing' but keep talking, it helps a little 

Sending much love

Hi Julie

 Im sorry to read about your sister then your husband. My husband also had a rare but aggressive cancer (sarcoma) which saw him go from a strong fit healthy man to skin snd bone, unable to walk, feed himself etc. Its heartbreaking. I find photos help remind me of better days.

Its so recent for you, your head will be all over the place, funeral, paperwork, informing people, it all takes so much energy. I lost count of how many times I tried to phone someone eg pension company only to burst into teras, unable to say My husband died and...

Im glad you have some wonderful family nearby, I am alone a lot as family dont live nearby. Try to eat even if its rubbish, I lived on biscuits and chocolate for the first few weeks. Rest or nap when you can. I set myself one small task to do each day and if I did more, that was a bonus. I watched a lot of rubbish telly, still do in fact.

Yes we are a good bunch here, we all know how sh*t it is, it helps to feel less alone and to know that we really arent going mad!

Hello Julie, How cruel this World can be. You probably still grieved for your sister and then to lose a Wonderful Husband as well . What a traumatic time it has been for you. And seems you had not long ago found much happiness with the man you expected to have a long future with and like the rest of us here ,He was stolen from you. . The Deep yearning we feel to have them back with us is excruciating. They are unreachable. I really feel for you and all of us who have lost the best people in our lives. I miss the laughter we shared. My Husband went 10 months ago. And all I can think just now is he was still here this time last year. And it's awful. I'm glad you have some good support . I just have my son's and elder sister who have been there for me . Look into getting some Counselling because you are going to need it ,especially after two significant losses. I wish I could get my photos out .,but I just can't bear it. My Husband is in my head all the time anyway. I come across photos in my files which keep popping up and  the Pain hits me like a brick. I can't cope with that all the time. I have dreams about him. Which some people find comforting ,but not me . I wake up and instantly know he's gone . After losing your sister I don't feel there is much advice I can offer. You may find  that losing your Husband brings so many l emotions on another level. People around may not be able to relate to you on that unless they have gone through it, But we understand here because many of the same emotions are  same or similar .  x