How do we cope

Hello Slinky . we cope by taking 1 day at a time . Hopefully you have someone to support you ..family or friends .  We all know this grief is far worse than we could ever have imagined. Of course we know there is going to be a deep sorrow and so much pain after losing a Loved  one . But nobody tells us about the many other emotions that come along with everything else . And it is so very Overwhelming. It is really difficult to think straight. We are in shock. and our brains take a long time to process  this significant loss. We suffer Sleep deprivation. Loss of appetite , exhaustion and some experience Panic attacks denial ,Anger and sometimes even jealousy. So don't worry if these emotions affect you in different stages and some altogether . It helps to express your thoughts and feelings here . 

And the physical effects. 

I lost a lot of hair in the first few months. If I’m having a particularly bad time it comes out again, but not so much now. 

Spots, which at 57 I thought I had seen the last of decades ago.

The weight loss due to eating utter rubbish for son many months. 
Im 18 months without my beautiful Valen, and still rarely have anything more than a cheese sandwich, an apple, banana and a bag of crisps each day. Sometimes I am hungry enough to do some oven chips or some fishfingers or a bowl of peas and mash. 
People have started to comment on the weight loss.

The utter exhaustion from lack of sleep. As most of you know from the times of my posts, I get to bed between 2 and 4 am. Sometimes my eyes are so bleary I cannot drive and have to cancel volunteering or going out with my mum or sister. 

The headaches from constant crying. 

Just a few extra things to cope with on top of the mental anguish.

Hello . Yes ,funny that I noticed my hair was really coming out a lot on the brush. I was a bit worried I might have Alopecia or something. I suppose some of it can be the "Stress" there's that word again. But what else do we call the shattered nervous system. Also lack of good nutrition probably is another factor.My hair used to look tidy for 3 days until it needed washing again ,but it's looks like I've been dragged through a hedge.  Oh! my dog ! the wind is howling here tonight. Storm Dave is showing himself here . I hate the Wind ,it's unnerving. I'm the same with lack of sleep ,If I go to bed before 12 .I usually wake up about 2 am. And if I go at 2 am I wake about 4 ISH. I read on an Insomnia blog that we should not check the time ,as the brain registers it as a time to wake up as routine  So I try not to look at the time. Your diet is similar to mine. I do try to make some soup . I made Potato, leek and cheese soup Yesterday ,so I had it yesterday and today  I have a Cadbury hot chocolate before bed . It is really exhausting what with all the crying and lack of sleep. I even got a bit worried about my eyes about a month ago when I had to keep sending E-mails and constantly fill in forms to apply for a grant for loft insulation.my eyes were so blurry I could hardly make out the text clearly.What a pain that's been ,Still no idea when they are gonna do it. I started the process last September after spending most of our savings on getting the heating sorted, so It's been about 2 months since the surveyor came to measure up. I wish they would get on with it. It's been like a means test . We have always paid for anything like this ourselves . I've had some terrible meltdowns just lately. I will forever Hate April now. And May too.  I hope you have a better sleep tonight. Try eat more healthy foods. You don't want to lose anymore hair . 

Hi Bretton!

You sound just like me. Funny none of us can go to bed before 12 o'clock at night. I've tried it but like most of you say I end up getting up again. I take my Kindle reader to bed now I can get half way through a chapter of a book and I feel my eyes going. `Dave's` just getting going outside my window just now as well hopefully won't be as bad as predicted. I hate the wind too don't mind the rain the wind can cause more damage I think. Its mainly ready meals I eat now. I would be getting pelters just now from Jay if he knew that's what I was eating. I'm not much of the conisseur chef that he was and added bits here and there to his cooking.  The microwave is my best friend now and occasionally the oven. I'd be happy if I could just get my cholesterol back to normal GP has put me on statins because its a bit high don't know why for all I eat. Take Care. 

xx

Hi Breton and PattyK,

I was advised to take the clock out of the bedroom so I don’t clock watch. 
But I just keep asking Alexa what the time is

Like you PattyK, we have talked before how similar your Jay and my Valen are with cooking. 
I was “allowed” to do some stirring - under supervision - and adding spices - under supervision and washing up - no supervision. 
His soup making is still on the counter top. I have tried to put it away several times, but get all panicky so it’s stays there. Maybe next winter I will try and make some. Never be as good as his, but I’ll try. 

The wind is making the conservatory rattle and I know how Dorothy felt in Kansas! 
During the last big stormy wind I was like your pets. Hiding under a blanket and so scared. I got so bad I had to call my sister in law and she talked me down from a panic attack. 
Im not so bad tonight. But it’s not having Valen here to “Ooooooo, that was a big gust” with that is making it worse. 

Hope everyone’s fences stay up and no wheelie bins gone over. X

My wheelie bin just tipped over MrsVT so just sat it upright again. Everything else seems intact. We had snow earlier in Glasgow. Snow on Easter Sunday!! `Merry Easter everyone`. 

xx

Considering the wind was very strong Last night I didn't hear too much banging. Normally I put a stone on the bins . But they seem protected in the drive. We are below you in West Lancashire Patty. So we get some of the same as Glasgow  We didn't have snow ,but hail stones yesterday and this morning. I can remember it snowed many times at Easter where we had a caravan at Flamborough head. And it snowed in Yorkshire in 1979:Easter time was around 23rd of April my Elder son was born. That was unexpected . We were high up in Yorkshire too, so we often got snow on the tops ,when lower down they had none. We often got snowed in and had to clear the roads ourselves if the Farmer down the road didn't come up with his tractor . I hate Winter. 

Just seen a clip on Instagram showing the snow falling in the centre of Glasgow . makes me feel cold just looking at it. So glad I left. I hope that's it for this year Patty. Though you will still get more than your fair share of rain. Lost count of the times I was delayed or stuck on a train for hours because the lines were closed due to flooding between Glasgow and Dumbarton.After the long journey back up from Yorkshire after visiting my Mum. Don't miss those journeys. Keep safe and warm .