5 weeks

Yes, we do need to realise that we have to be gentle with ourselves. We were in the process of selling our house. But the actual sale and exchange did not happen until 3 months after our loss. There was so much to do . Our son's were good they helped me sort a lot out. When We got in this house there was a lot to do

 I had to get a new boiler and the heating sorted out as unbeknown to me it hadn't been working for some time. Everywhere needs decorating. So we did the back room. And I tiled and papered the kitchen. I had bought quite a lot of wallpaper while it was on offer,so I could get on with it. Now It takes me all my time to even tidy up. . I think I just exhausted myself trying to distract my mind from all the ruminating. Going over and over the events of the last few years. I found that it just isn't possible to run away from this Bloody horrendous thing we carry called Grief. We have to face it head on. We have to allow the brain to process what has happened. Painful as it is to sit with it. It's gonna catch us up sooner or later. . I'm just so sick of being so miserable.  My elder sister has persuaded me to book a short holiday to Venice at the end of April. I can't say I am excited about it and I hope I don't spoil it for my lovely sister. Of course it will be a lovely place to visit ,but it's sad that I am able to go because my Dear Hubby isn't here. To be honest I would have loved to have gone with him. But it is what it is...Bittersweet . I don't know. Well we all have to battle on each day ,taking it as it comes. So sorry we all are unfortunate to be in this group. You really have had it tough . I wish I could help. It really is so unfair how some of us get such a bad deal. Have you seen your Doctor to get help ?  Be referred to a Counsellor . You do need someone neutral you can talk to.