Moving on

Hello Mark!

I am so sorry to read you took an overdose. I can tell you I often thought about doing the exact same thing when I lost my husband two and half years ago. While he was going through his treatment for cancer I thought about it often too but luckily `thinking about it` was as far as it got and I never really had the gall to actually go through with it. It is still very early days for you and things will be very raw still. Have you had any offers of counselling from anywhere?? Phone the helplines here or use the chat service someone will put you in contact with some form of counselling if you haven't done so already. Macmillan used to offer counselling services but I think these no longer run now but at the same time they will be able to put you in contact with other charities or organisations who may be of help to you and of course just come here when you feel you need to because we all get it and are a good support for each other. 

At the moment your head will be all over the place. You will have feelings of guilt, anger, sadness and anxiety to name a few but this is all normal at this time. Do you have family around you for support? Just take things a day at a time for now things will ease but I won't tell you when as we all grieve differently you will know yourself when you feel a shift that things are changing. My best wishes to you moving forward. Take Care. 

Vicky.

Hi Mark

How are you doing today?

Hi Mark

I just wanted to say that everyone here truly understands and this is somewhere you can be open and honest and never be judged. My husband died 4 months ago, and I am really struggling. My best friends are all miles away and I don't drive. Everyone seems so caught up in their own lives, I know, and nobody gets this until.it happens to them. The lonliness is crippling sometimes. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say that I understand. Keep coming back here, and try to find someone to talk to. None of us can do this alone. 

Thank you all. Still struggling; you’re right, it seems like everyone else is going about their business and because I’m the silent type, people think I’m ok when I’m not. It’s so hard. 

I totally get that. People want us to be ok because they don't know what to say or do when we're not. Sometimes grief is overwhelming, but we all become very good at pretending. Some days I can cope with 'real life', on other days I hide indoors and have a 'tv and tears' day. I've read a lot of books about grief and it seems there's no avoiding it, no going round it, we have to go through it as best we can. I've found 'Surviving Grief 365 days a year' by Gary Sturgis is one of the best. Also started at a bereavement group at the hospice, which is helpful. Take it slowly Mark, don't expect too much of yourself. And keep coming back here, these people have become my lifeline. Sending hugs.

My wife died a couple of months ago from cancer too. 24 years married, very happily, all just came to an end after a three year battle, and here I am alone.

Just to echo what other people have said here, talking to friends and family, and taking support wherever you can get it is good. Calling the doctors and getting some literature on bereavement also helped for me. You have made it to this forum so that's a great move.

Doing some household stuff helped, trying to keep busy at least during the day Also going through my wife's things, although painful, helped me cry and release a bit of built up emotion and helped me feel more as though I could accept it bit more and I could control the memories a little better.

Also don't feel you "have" to do anything, you don't. Take it slowly and gently, give yourself time to adapt, you will adapt, but it will be up and down.

I hope you don't end up back in the A&E, careful with the medicines, it's so easy to lose track of stuff in this period of time.

Couldn't have put it better Spirit can relate to what you say so much. 

xx

Feeling proud of myself. In the last 2 hours I’ve done two loads of washing, hoovered the bedroom, stairs and landing, and had a bath. From past experience of depression, doing some household chores helps your mindset. 

A lovely relaxing bath, that sounds great. 

Well done, small steps. I hate housework so do as little as I can get away with.