I'm new to this or any type of forum but I need to connect to other people with a similar experience to mine.
My perfect, darling, lovely wife of nearly 33 years had surgery to remove an osteosarcoma of the left mandible. She had surgery to remove it 1 Dec 2025 and it was successful. However, there was a high cost, as it left her face partially paralysed, nearly deaf, unable to eat, drink of speak and fed via a tube into her stomach, but she was alive. She came home from hospital 4 Jan 2026 and we coped, hoping things would gradually improve, but she developed breathing difficulties which worsened quickly and she died 19 Jan on our bed suffocating in front of me while I was on 999. I could do nothing to save her. We are both in our 60s and we should have had more time together.
I feel utterly traumatised, numb and dead inside and the thought of possibly 20 or 30 years ahead without her are terrifying. My only family is my Mum and sister who are 100 miles away but I speak to them on the phone. There are friends and neighbours and, of course, plenty to do dealing with a death afterward plus all the normal things running a house, which helps in a way by keeping me occupied. The worst times are the beginning and end of each day. I just wish each night that I won't wake up and regret the next day when I do.
Thank you for reading this and letting me express this. I know my wife used this site while she was going through her cancer journey and she found it most helpful and she said I should use it as well.
