Triggers

I think the message from all this is that we need to do what we can do when we can do it without feeling that it is somehow 'wrong'. I have become very reclusive, but I feel comfortable with that. I don't want to see many people apart from a group of supportive friends and my children. I've encouraged our street to propagate heritage trees and figs, and that's very positive and forward-looking. I am also publishing my husband's poetry soon. Yes,  I can celebrate his life even though I grieve his death deeply and daily. 

I wish people talked about David. Even when I do they don't join in, just sit mute while I talk. While he was ill everyone always asked about him, now it's as if he never existed. He was my life for so many years, I won't just let him fade away. 

I know what you mean, it makes things feel odd. I think our minds are helping us process things when we talk about our loved ones. We want to share our stories, and the life we shared with that person. People don’t seem to be able to know what to do. I said to one of my husband’s friends that, “I didn’t want him to be forgotten”. He said, “He won’t be”, but still wouldn’t have a conversation with me. It is a very strange feeling. Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx