I'm finding it so hard

CharlieH 1 hour ago

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I lost my sweet husband on the 14th December. It was traumatic and has mentally scarred me. His birthday was on the 21st, he passed a week before.

Christmas and New year, I'm finding hard, I feel like I'm leaving him in 2025 and carrying on into 2026. I try to remember all the good times we had and I can't help but see his poor face when he was struggling to breathe. He had stage 4 metastatic non small cell lung cancer. From the point of diagnosis to his death, was 5 weeks. They told us he had 3-6 months left.

I just feel so mentally weak in myself, I'm not sleeping properly and I'm scared to sleep because I see flashbacks.

I don't know what to do with myself, I wish he was here

Malengwa 14 minutes ago

Hi Charlie

Im so sorry rhat you find yourself in this group whete none of us ever think or want to be. But we do support each other because we understand.

Its still so raw for you, Im guessing you havent had the funeral yet? My husband died in October and my whole being still aches from missing him. On the day he died he was begging to die and that still fills my nights.

You can only do what you can each day, small baby steps. Im still at the stage where if I get up, dress and eat something that isnt chocolate or biscuits, then Ive done OK. Im learning to set fairly low bar of expectation, jyst one job each day. Maybe a phone call or an online form to complete.

Grief is mentally and emotionally exhausting, so you will feel weak. I cry at anything, I really lack any resilience. But thats ok, I no longer apologise for bursting into tears.

Do you have any family or friends nearby. Do lean on them.

And we are all hete, talking helps. We all get it here X

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