Candles ︎

Thank you  that's really lovely of you.

Dear Ghost - hope you don't mind, but I would like to "borrow" the spare for my Anne. I promise I will light one for your Sue tomorrow at Christmas Mass, with another for you(if you don't mind). I am down at my parents in Cornwall at the moment (probably my Dad's last Christmas) and it is so hard. I feel that I am wearing a mask all the time. "I'm fine", "I'm doing OK". But inside I am breaking. No-one apart from my sister seems to understand. But I have to put on the mask to pretend that everything is OK, I'm fine, no problems. Anything to not be "you are spoiling Christmas for everyone else. Aren't you better yet? Why aren't you back to normal yet" .Oh my God I miss her. Anne loved Christmas, her favourite time of year. It became a standing joke between us - on October the first "Can we put the decorations up?". We would compromise on early November..... then the "arguments" on when to take them down (usually end of January).

Sorry, just rambling. So very hard. I will light a candle for Anne tomorrow, another for Sue, one for Ghost. If anyone else sees this before I go to church at 9am Christmas Day, and would like a remembrance candle for their loved one- let me know and I will light one for you.

Best wishes to all. I wont wish a happy Christmas, as for many it will not be. I do wish you all the best, may we all come through this time, remembering those we loved. Treasuring the memories. Remembering the love - nothing and no-one can take that from us. Yes, there will be tears. There will be times we just want to be alone for a while. There may be times that you think no-one else can understand what you are going through. Just remember - all of us on here know what you are going through. We know. We understand. If you need, just reach out. I have already told my parents and sister I will be taking time out to be online here over the next few days. I cannot promise miracles, but I can promise an understanding ear (or keyboard!)

May you all get through Christmas, with best wishes to all

Chris

Thank you jealous. I hope you manage ok and have a peaceful Christmas. 

Thank you. Such a kind thought.

Thank you so much, very very thoughtful.

GhostLoveScore that's such a lovely thought, thank you. I am not a religious person but whenever I visit a cathedral, or my local church where we got married, I always light a candle in memory of my wife, Lin, and baby son, Jamie.

Take care,

Derek

I’m the same Derek. 
Im not conventional religious, I have my own mish mash of belief, more spiritual / Earth / hippy stuff. 
But when my beautiful Valen was given his terminal diagnosis he wanted to go to Catholic mass once a week. His family are deeply Catholic (his parents go on pilgrimage once a year). 
So we went along, lit a candle and stood with fingers crossed and prayed / wished so damn hard. 
He only managed 4 weeks instead of the 3 to 6 months we were told. The third time we went Valen said to the Father that we needed to make an appointment to see him to discuss Valens funeral arrangements but he then rapidly drastically declined and we never made it. 
The Father was wonderful, and though I have no faith, he was understanding of that. 
Whenever I see him in the street he makes a point of coming over to say hello.

I used to go and light a candle once a week. Then I dropped to once a month. Now I go, will go. and light his candle Christmas Day, New Year’s Day, his birthday, the anniversary of his being taken from us and the anniversary of his funeral. 
I also light a candle on Christmas Day for the family members who have gone and then send a family WhatsApp photo.

The church is so pretty, small, and I do find it peaceful to sit there for a while.

3 more candles lit today ,

1 for Sue, 1 for Dad, and one for anyone who needs it.

Whoops forgot the picture