I lost my husband 5 weeks ago very suddenly. He had ALL in 2019, had a stem cell transplant and had been in remission for over 5 years. He started to feel unwell and was worried it had come back, blood test showed it had not. 2 weeks later he was admitted to hospital and 10 days later he'd passed. It was a rare complication of the transplant (PTLD)
To say I am devastated is an understatement. The first few weeks were a blur. But now all i can think about is what if and I can't seem to snap out of it. What if we'd gone to hospital sooner, what if I'd noticed things sooner. Why didn't the doctors pick up on this. I know this is all irrational. I keep reminding myself that we got an extra 5 years together (we got married).
I have amazing support from family and friends.
But my heart just aches, the waves of emotion are debilitating and I don't see a future without him.
