Still grieving

Hi there, I am nine months into this new reality. I am sorry you are feeling so lonely. With me, it is that I feel alone, rather than lonely. All of those things we did with our men, no longer exist. The pain at times is horrendous. I have just started to push myself with new friendships, I am being very careful, and taking it really slowly. The ones I am gravitating towards have experienced grief, and therefore I can be myself with them. Sending hugs, Kate. Xxx

Hey…it is hard to get going, especially the socialising side. I still limit myself to my kids and best friend and her family. Like I need this little bubble I trust.

my best friend lost her husband too, so I feel connected more so to her

Yes, I also have a grief buddy. I am getting out and about, and in some ways achieving so much. I went down the pub last night with my son, and it did me the world of good. I actually felt like myself. I think it is the unpredictability of the grief that is difficult. I don’t want to be in pain anymore. Hopefully, it will lessen with time. Kate.xxx

Yes I do get out, and I’m back at work. But it’s like you said, it hits you when you least expect it and the pain is so unbearable. Xx

I’m three years in and I lost the love of my life . My carer and . Friend . I too amfinding it hard you find you go to tell them and then it clicks there not here . Keeping busy is key . Even though I have family I feel so alone . I am lucky to have had him in my life for over 50 yrs married for nearly 50 . I felt robbed because he didn’t make our son’s wedding . He would have been so proud . I know just how you feel . I have days of crying especially if I’m not well . Knowing he would have cared for me . 

John and I were married for just under 28 years, he was the love of my life. Although he was 20 years older than me, it didn’t matter. He was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in 2016. He fought and went into remission. It decided to come back in September 2023… we had 6 precious months together till I lost him last march. I too wish he was here to see the things life throws at us. I have started to smile at memories now, and laugh at photos and videos of him the kids show me. But ….on a down day i cry for him x

I had terrible tummy ache last night. 

But it was 100 times worse as my beautiful Valen wasn’t the one heating up my hot water bottle. 
My beautiful Valen wasn’t there gently rubbing my tummy. 
I had to make my own peppermint tea. 
He wasn’t there peering at me in bed to see if I was looking better. 

I missed his “What you need is to do a big fart. Go on. Get it out”.

I lost my partner of nearly 18 years Christmas Day I've been plodding on booking everything going in my life to maybe try block some of it out but lately I have same thoughts in my head like my life is pointless  and if I get diagnosed with cancer I'm not going to have treatment cos I just want to be with him. I have 2 adult children who have already lost their dad to suicide so now have to deal with losing their stepdad and I feel guilty that I don't care about my life either.  I just think people must be getting fed up with me saying I still cry etc and think I should of moved on by now but how can u ever get over losing the love of your life x