Any Advice for dealing with well meaning but crass comments?

How very upsetting for you. My husband died about 7 months ago: I haven't experienced many crass comments but mainly because I have retreated from much social contact so only communicate with people on 'neutral' territory. I chat to people on the allotment about planting and digging, and to shop assistants about the weather. When my brother-in-law made a very painful visit and berated me about a family rift  (talked about himself and never mentioned my husband, his brother!) I was fairly direct and told him that as Bruce was dead, no-one could hurt him any longer, for which I was grateful. I haven't heard from him or Bruce's other siblings since. I think you need to decide who you can do without in your future, and who may be well-meaning but worth keeping in touch with . If the latter, a gentle rebuke when well-meaning comments are made may be helpful: if they are truly friends, they won't take a gentle rebuke amiss. Just explain that you have no desire to 'meet someone new' but add perhaps that meeting for a drink might be helpful? I have  noted that some reliable websites suggest that six months is a  reasonable time to grieve:  when this is suggested, perhaps explain that you need to go through a full year of anniversaries (wedding/birthday/engagement etc) before you can even begin to grieve. It's as much about educating others who haven't been so bereft while maintaining positive support. Hope this is helpful. 

Hi Chris, as we know “There is no normal”. My husband died on the 4th August 2024, so I am eight months in. I got to the stage with neighbours and certain people where I said, “I don’t want to talk about it”, or that “I just want to be left alone.” I also live in a village, and would escape when I could. Different supermarkets, garages and dog walks. I have had the comments that, “Isn’t it time you cleared everything out of the house of his ?”, “You are still young enough to meet someone new.” You are right, most people don’t know what to say or do. I retreated into my own space, and now only mix with people who are emotionally intelligent. I have found it helpful to have a ‘Grief Buddy”. We met at our St Barnabas Bereavement Group. We go for a quiet drink out of the area, where we can talk about our loved ones. Is that a possibility for you ? I have also found a very helpful book called, ‘Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart’, by Alan D.Wolfelt. PH.D. I bought it on Amazon. It maybe too early for you, but it has genuinely helped me with the devastation. Kind regards, Kate. 

I was talking to someone 2 weeks ago. Across from me, he was looking at his van, then he said I need a new clutch, life is so fing unfair.  I looked at my empty house,where a year ago I had a loving cat and my soul mate. Now both gone to cancer, shock my head with tears in eyes and walked off.