What to do at Christmas?

I’m sleeping over at my mums Christmas Eve to Boxing Day (she’s quite excited by this)

Get up before her to get us scrambled eggs and salmon.

Open some of the presents.

Go for a walk to watch the St Elizabeth Hospice Christmas Day Dip in the sea (weather permitting)

Local cafe to help with Christmas Lunch for those who don’t want to be on their own.

Home to open rest of presents, T.V, G&T, stuff our faces.

Snooze.

Stuff our faces and wine and chocolates.

Bed.

Repeat for next few days (minus the sea dip, helping with the lunches and presents )

I know it’s going to be bloody hard, it’s already overwhelming. 
My beautiful Valen loves Christmas and we go all out with decorations, food and merryness. 
Couldnt face the decorations this year. 
Just a wicker star on the front door and a teeny tree. 
(The thing we normally hang on the door will now be called the Festive Garland)

But Christmas is unavoidable. So I’ll have an extremely pared down few days this year.

Seasons greetings xx

Literally don't know how I feel about Christmas. I'll be on my own alot, but I think that's ok.

My mum and I are still going out for our Xmas meal, just without my Aidan. 

I'm permanently tired, so told my mum, it might take a few days to open our gifts.

My Beautiful God-daughter is coming down just after Christmas, so be lovely to see her. 

No plans for new year coz no one has asked me, but that's ok. We used to go to bed and watch the London fireworks.

New Years Day, will mark 5 months of my Aidan passing. How can it be that long? It's a blurr.

Love and hugs to you all xx

I just realised that in our little cul de sac there are 4 of us having our first Christmas without a loved one!
2 of us have lost husbands. 
1 has lost the mother he lived with and 1 has lost the dog she lived on her own with for the last 12 years.

Thats crazy isn’t it!

Hello Mrs VT

Crazy but true eh.? Will you get together or not ? A bit of comfort and understanding maybe between you. Good luck.

Hugs to you xxxx

Mum and I are going to pop in and see the other lady whose husband passed 6 months ago. 
Her daughter is taking her back to hers so she won’t be alone. 

The neighbour whose mum died is away. 
And the lady whose dog died said she is spending the day at The Dogs Trust. 

I have to admit that it has been really really hard to keep up a cheerful face for my mum today and I am selfishly very glad she has just gone to bed so I can cry. 
She won’t hear me with her hearing aids out!

She doesn’t get why I have bought my beautiful Valen with me even though I live just 10 minute walk from her. She thought I would leave him at home. 
I told her we come together, as always, or not at all. 
No way do I leave him on his own in a cold home for 2 nights with no company.
She finds it odd that I talk to and rest my hand on his casket.

Maybe it is. 
But it’s right for me.

xx

What's right for you, is the right thing to do.

I have a small picture of Aidan, I might put that in my bag, so he's with us when we have our meal today.

Had a big cry last night and already today.

Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas 

Love and hugs

Hello again 

Quite right in doing what feels right for you. Only way really.

So far, my "recipe" is on track. Got up late, unwrapped some lovely presents from friends, and settled down to a little brunch. Bistrot is closed today, so we went yesterday and it was very nice. I get a call from my sister in Scotland, I have just her and her family now, and that was tough . She doesn't get my situation here in France I don't think. She hasn't lost a spouse yet either.

Came away feeling very alone. Never mind, the rest of the day is to come.

Yes a good cry is what we are going to do I suspect. 

Love and hugs 

Fiona x

Just home from my son's house after a lovely Christmas lunch. My future daughter in law definitely excelled. Overindulged the little granddaughter with a sackful of presents from `Santa` - but that's what grannies are for- came away without my bottle of prossecco as part of my gifts from them but `hey-ho` will get it another day. Have a `reserve` one here anyway. Time now just to settle in front of the TV for the  night stuffing my face maybe with chocolate and wee `refreshment` or three as was driving today.  Feeling a little bit emotional but had a lovely day nonetheless. Wished Jay Merry Christmas this morning and just hope he wasn't stressing and fussing to much in heaven getting his famous Christmas dinner ready for the `masses` up there as that was what it was like when he was here he would cook for an army and there were only a few of us. Oh well only another 364 days until next year. Merry Christmas everyone. Take Care. 

Vicky xx

It’s been such a mixed bag of a day.

Though I am so grateful that I spent last night and today with mum, and we have had a good time, I actually would like to be home. 
As the day has gone on it’s got harder to be jolly. 
Mums hearing is bad and at 89 she has become a bit forgetful. I am sorry to say I have become more impatient as the day has gone on.

It’s just been mum and me. 
And that’s just bought home how much it should be just me and my beautiful Valen. 
I am spending the day with one person, but not the right one person. 
Its not mums fault, and I keep reminding myself of that, but I feel hemmed in.

I escaped for a walk on my own to light a candle for him. 
Mum wanted to come but I told her No. This is for me.

I can’t wait to get us both home tomorrow and shut us away. 

Tomorrow morning is 3 months to the day. 

Sending waves of warmth to you all

Hey MrsVT!

I  do get you!. I have my sister staying with me over the next couple of days but like you because of her learning difficulties empathy is not something she is good at and sometimes I feel I spend time with `the wrong person`.  I have had a little cry to myself earlier but while she has been in another room watching one of her many `game shows` she likes to watch- this is her thing. Tipping Point, The Chase or whatever it's game show heaven for her. She was at my son's with me today too obviously. I'm really all she has she has two friends she meets up with but it's all very `routine` and they only meet up on a certain day, same time each week and go to the same places but that's her thing and it gets her out for a few hours a week. She doesn't live with me but lives in sheltered accomodation but during the Christmas holiday she comes here and stays with me a few days at Christmas and then again a New Year. She lives within walking distance from me but because of her `routines` she goes home so she can follow them out. She's 73 but has a mentality of someone in their late teens/early twenties because of how she is. I am grateful as I said though that she is still independent and can go out on her own because at least as I said she gets out a few times a week she has a few clubs she goes to also but they are presently off due to the Christmas holiday. She has had a lot of health issues recently including two cancer diagnosis. After Jay (my late husband) passed, she got a bowel cancer diagnosis like him but hers was caught very early so treatable. Five years ago she had breast cancer but again it was caught very early and treated. I feel sorry for her at times but she can be very good at manipulating you and I know when she is `playing up`. I wish you well in moving forward. Take Care.

Vicky xx