Alone

Hi Junie. Sorry your feeling so alone especially at this time of year and with what u have to deal with. I am lucky because I have my husband and 2 grown up sons living with me. However, I actually like my own company , yes I can brood if I let myself, especially at night time as I don't sleep well. If I am tired I tend to snug on the sofa with a good book. I am not keen on tv because I prefer the silence. If I have more mental energy I may pick up my knitting, or needlework, or embroidery. I have many projects that I can pick and choose. These ideas are personal to me of course. What sort of things do u like. Sometimes maybe u could share what u do with people on here. It may give others ideas to help ease their minds from thinking of their illnesses etc...for example it's taken me many weeks but I managed to learn to make sour dough bread. Anyhow, I for one am here to help share the good stuff...don't be alone..hugs. x

Hello Junie 

Glad, if that is the right word, that you found us here. What has happened.? Can you share some more with us ?

Are you alone , do you not have someone close to help?

Do please reach out for help.

This forum has been a lifeline to me after my husband died two/half years ago. I am struggling but will get there.

Ps hate this time of year too. Doesn't help.

Hugs and keep posting xxx

Hello Junie 

I too am spending Christmas Day alone. It’s my first without my beautiful husband who died 10 weeks ago. I can’t face spending it with anyone else but I do have my two little furry boys to keep me company. I’m going to just please my self and do what feels right as the day goes on.

I do feel very alone often, especially at the weekend, as I’ve spent the best part of 30 years as a two. I am finding it very hard indeed.

Sending hugs

Mel

Hi Mel

it is so difficult , I can’t have pets where I live.  Maybe take your  fur babies for a walk and pamper them.

i will probably just sleep if I can.

sending hugs to you
Junie

Hey Junie!

You are not alone with this. Many of us have been there and this time of the year makes it all the more prominent. Like Fleabane I too like my own company. My husband passed last June (2023) from bowel cancer and sepsis. It was the sepsis which I think contributed to his already advancing cancer. I am 18 months to the day tomorrow (23rd Dec) he passed on June 23rd. I had my first Christmas without him last year and it just came and went in a blur. I didn't really think much about it as I think I was only months in from losing him so think I was still processing his loss. This year though it feels so much different and it has been a whole year without him so I think I have been reflecting more and I do feel it this year. My son and his partner had myself and my sister over to theirs last year and I think that is the plan this year too. I do a lot for them during the year with babysitting my little granddaughter amongst other things as they both work shifts. I also look after my older sister who has learning difficulties and she too has fought bowel cancer and came out the other side. She had breast cancer five years ago and fought that too. Both times both cancers were caught in their early stages so were treatable. 

I am still trying to find a `new me` after myself and my husband being together for 40 years. I am still finding my way and am quite amazed at just how much I have managed on my own this past 18 months without him because when he was in his final days I just could not see a way forward without him and was in a very dark place. He was the one though even in his final days that said to me I would go on without him and that I was the stronger one in our relationship and in a way he was right I think. I did reach out to different resources for help including coming here to MacMillan and these forums are a lifeline when you feel you have no one to confide in or feel you don't like I have. Coming on here everyone `gets it` and there will be someone who you can resonate with that is going through exactly what you are going through. By reaching out here and to other resources I was made to see that I do have people here who need me- my sister for one and my son and his partner and my little granddaughter. It now helps me to help them and to come on here and offer support where I can. 

I try to keep as busy as possible but sometimes the feeling of `emptiness` can still be there but I am managing to just go with that. I am back at the gym this is something my husband and myself did together and I started back there at the beginning of this year. The girls on the desk were so happy to see me back. One said to me `ok you've did the hard part, you've got through the front door now time to get you signed up`. I do watch a lot of TV and movies too. Sometimes you can get lost in a good movie on either Youtube or Amazon. I like to knit too and read and just listen to music. My husband was a bit of a `tellybug` and the TV would be on 24/7 he would watch anything and everything- even repeats!. He loved cooking as well that was his passion. He would make Christmas dinner every year for us and I miss him stressing how he was going to do it each year. My waistline has benefitted slightly as the meals he used to cook would do an army and it was only the two of us. Now I'm just happy with a ready meal. I do miss him though the house is just so quiet and the TV is off in the daytime now and doesn't go on until tea-time. Just keep coming here when you feel you need to. My best wishes to you moving forward.

Vicky x